9 Things That Would Definitely Happen If Irish People Celebrated Thanksgiving

Can't wait for Michael D's Turkey Pardon.

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November 24th marks Thanksgiving in the US, while the rest of the world has to continue as normal, dreaming of days off and bellies full of turkey.

If Ireland did celebrate Thanksgiving though, it’d probably be a very different situation. Here’s how we picture it going…

1. There would be a massive run on off-licences the day before, lest anyone would run out 
‘Is sixteen bottles of Prosecco too many?’

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2. And there would be a pre-Thanksgiving gathering down the local of epic proportions
A chance to scope out who you might get the shift from come Christmas Eve.

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3. No-one would do a tap of work in the office from three days beforehand
Roll in the door at 11am, check emails, depart for a two-hour lunch break at 1pm…

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4. Brown Thomas Dublin would launch a rake of inflatable floats down College Green
Well, if Macy’s can do it…

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5. Your gran’s famous apple tart would take the place of pumpkin pie
You’re fooling no-one by calling pumpkin a dessert food, Americans.

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6. Michael D. Higgins would do a Turkey Pardon live from the Phoenix Park
He’d have a poem full of turkey puns ready for the occasion.

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7. Your mam would insist everyone ‘gave thanks’ for something before eating, but you’d all end up taking the piss
‘WOULD YE JUST FOR ONE MINUTE BE SERIOUS?’

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8. There would be a GAA All Stars friendly match airing live from Croker while everyone ate their dinner
Featuring celebrity cameos from every former boyband member the GAA could round up.

 

9. We’d write off the end of November and all of December as “almost Christmas”
Well, we already do that. But still.

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