Ask James: ‘Is It Weird To Ask My Boyfriend To Have A Threesome With Me And His Mate?’

Online star James Kavanagh answers your questions like only a gas bitch can.

I’ve ran up a bill of €3,400 on my work phone while I was on a girlo trip to the States recently – accidental drunk roaming. How the hell do I not lose my job/avoid paying this? My boss has already told everyone he’s clamping down on costs. The fear is real. – Robyn, Cork

First of all, HAHAHA! Sorry, that is gas. OK, run into your boss and have a breakdown. Say you’re exhausted because you just love your job so much. Say your friendships etc are suffering because you talk about your job ALL THE TIME. The goal here is for him to seriously admire your work ethic. Then say how you were recently in the States on holiday and you couldn’t get off your phone because you were emailing and calling doing deals for his company while out with the girls. When the bill comes in, he’ll remember this chat and realise that the excessive bill was due to your love of working overtime for his company, and he won’t be so hard on you.

My boyfriend has been badgering me for a threesome for ages now. I was never really into the idea. However, one of his friends has just returned from travelling and flirts with me all of the time. Last weekend he said he’d love to bang me, but obviously there’s no way this can happen, unless… Is it weird if I suggest to my boyfriend that he takes part in a threesome with another guy (his friend) and me? Isn’t it usually two girls one boy? – Ciara, Dublin

Threesomes can happen in any way! It’s so old-fashioned to believe it has to be two girls, one guy. And generally, threesomes tend to happen between people who already know each other, so he should be grand with the suggestion of his mate. However, you may have to compromise: tell him he can have his choice of guest if you can arrange the first one. Then saddle up, girl! Tonight, is the niiiiiight, when 3 become 1…

The same Luas ticket inspector man comes on most mornings and inspects my ticket. There is always a bit of a spark when we interact but neither of us makes a move to bring it to the next level… Any advice on how to make a date happen out of this? – Jennifer, Dublin

Next time you’re getting the Luas pretend you didn’t buy a ticket… When he comes to inspect you, be all “Whoops, I didn’t buy one.” Now he’ll need to take your NAME, ADDRESS and NUMBER (HELLO!) to send you a fine. If it’s true love, he’ll text you and be like “How about you come on a date with me instead of paying the fine?” Well, it’ll be either that or an actual €50 fine if these ‘sparks’ are all in your head. It’s a gamble I’m afraid you’re going to have to take.

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