Whipping your diet in to shape is one thing, but what about your romantic life? Vicki Notaro thinks it’s time to start applying the same rules we use for healthy eating to potential healthy relationships.
Dolly Parton once said, “my weaknesses have always been food and men – in that order,” and it’s a rare woman that wouldn’t give her an AMEN for uttering such a phrase. It’s a fact of life that eating and dating go hand in hand, but also a fact that sometimes both of them can be very bad for you – and we’re not talking about that time you kissed a guy with a peanut allergy after scoffing chicken satay. No, we mean emotionally.
So if food and love are inextricably linked and you’re trying to clean up your romantic karma, how about taking a leaf out of the bible of clean eating? We’re not asking you to date little and often, or even date five times a day, but some of the principles of the clean food movement could definitely benefit your heart in more ways than one…
In order to eat clean, you have to get rid of the dirt from your diet – and applying that to matters of the heart means also getting rid of all the durtburds in your life. Easier said than done perhaps, but how can you be saintly if you’ve sinners lurking in your phone book who keep booty calling you at 3am?
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that at least once in her life, a woman will fall for a man solely because he’s nice to her. These lovely lads often come along when we’re vulnerable and craving something sweet, but it often ends in tears – his – when you cop that you don’t actually fancy him. Beware.
In the same way that a bar of chocolate raises your blood sugar only to bring it back down to earth with a bang rather swiftly, so does flirting with a totally unsuitable fella, be it your bad boy ex or that player you met on Tinder. Avoid.
They say a little of what you fancy does you good, and the same is true of food and fellas. But if you start indulging too often, it’s not good for your waistline – or your heart.
That said, life would be absolutely zero craic without a bit of boldness every now and then, right?
AKA, don’t be greedy. You might think that juggling four fellas at a time is very Sex and the City, but wouldn’t you be fuming if some lad did it to you? One at a time is all you need.
If only men came with ingredients labels, it’d be a lot easier to figure out who’s full of chemicals and who’s going to give you heartache in the long run. Sadly though, we can only go on what we know to be true, so try not to overthink everything to do with blokes. They’re actually fairly straightforward – if they’re into you, you’ll know about it.
Instead of going for something delicious straight off the bat, spend a little time looking for an alternative that actually tastes just as brilliant. Okay, we may be taking the analogy a little far here, but you know what we mean – look for depth over instant gratification.
This is one we can all get on board with. Clean eating and rigorous exercise go hand in hand, and we know what burns loads of calories with minimum effort and maximum fun, don’t we? Yerrr!
When going on a date, the easiest option is often to hit the pub in the hopes that all awkwardness disappears after three or four G&Ts. While this may be true, you’re also getting a slightly warped view of yer man too though – so why not try some sober dates? A trip to the zoo, bowling or the cinema are all winners.
Look, we’re all looking for results in life. But you know that short-term fad diets are no good for you, so why would short-term fad flings be? Yes, sometimes a quickie romance can be a balm for a bruised ego or a pick-me-up after a long-term-love. But if you start getting in to the habit of them, it’s time to check yourself.
Apparently the best advice there is when drinking, dating and just in life. Good ol’ H2O will keep you lucid, hydrated and er, regular. Just watch the amount of toilet breaks you have on a date, yeah?
This article first appeared in STELLAR’s August issue. Our March issue is on shelves now!
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