And more importantly, how to fix it.
Ever feel like you’re unlucky in love and destined to be single forever? You’re not alone. Relationships are hard and one psychologist reckons he knows the reason why.
University professor, Eli Finkel, says modern relationships are set up to fail because of our *very* unrealistic expectations. Speaking to The Atlantic, Eli says many people in relationships are “too idealistic.”
So what does that mean? Well, it seems we’re expecting too much from our other halves. Instead of just being with someone because we’re attracted to them and enjoy their company, “the expectation that our spouse will help us grow and help us become a better version of ourselves” adds an entirely new level of pressure. He says, “the primary reason for this is cultural,” and didn’t exist in previous decades.
“I think most of us will be kind of shocked by how many expectations and needs we’ve piled on top of this one relationship,” he adds, “I’m not saying that people need to lower their expectations, but it is probably a bad plan to throw all of these expectations on the one relationship.”
This pressure can lead to arguments, periods of hostility or even guilt-tripping, with one person left feeling that the relationship has become “stagnant”.
To fix this, Eli suggests that we shouldn’t unload *all* of our insecurities or short-comings on our other halves, but rather find a friend or family member whom we can vent to. Invest time in bettering yourself, rather than expecting him to do that for you.
What do you make of Eli’s comments?
Get the latest news, hottest trends & biggest competitions to your inbox.