NEWS JUST IN: Pretty Woman Is Being Made Into A Musical And We’ve Got The Songs Sussed

Pretty Woman is finally gonna see the light of Broadway – and we've come up with some killer musical numbers that just MUST make the cut.

Pretty Woman in the bath

In breaking news, everyone’s favourite slightly dodgy love story, Pretty Woman, is being made into an all-singing, all-dancing musical – a mere 25 years after it first graced our screens, and will be directed by Garry Marshall, who directed the original film.

“I had so much fun doing Pretty Woman the first time around that I’m trying it again as a Broadway musical. We have secured the rights to do a stage adaptation,” Marshall said, in a statement to People. “To see Vivian and Edward brought to life again with music will hopefully be something to cheer about the second time around, too.”

This musical lark is a cinch – there wouldn’t be a need to come up with original numbers, as the pop scene’s got this baby all tied up. Welcome to the pop music Cliff’s notes version of the ’80s classic:

For the opening scene, an ensemble number with all of the strip hookers.

Right after Vivienne has put on those boots…

For when Edward is rather disgusted by having a prozzie in his car (solo number).

Pretty Woman blow job scene

For when Vivienne gets, eh, down to business…

Pretty Woman shop scene

For when those bitches are hella rude to our Viv (and, later, sorry).

Pretty Woman red dress

For when Viv gets all, well, fancy.

For when they go to the polo, sung by yer man’s nephew who fancies Viv. #posh

For when Viv decides she’s had enough of this life of prozzie crime… (Tay Tay would be so proud.)

For Edward’s final revelation – about Vivienne and what she means to him (ensemble cast in the background while he speeds to catch her before she leaves forever).

Closing number:


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