5th October 2017 by Grace McGettigan
Some men just don't want to settle down.
Okay, so none of us actually enjoy hearing about our new fella’s ex girlfriend. But at least if he has an ex girlfriend it means he’s up for settling down. If he’s never had a longterm partner, he *might* brush it off as ‘never having met the right woman.’ But if he hasn’t dated someone for longer than a month you may start raising some eyebrows.
When it comes to date night, he hates planning ahead and prefers to ‘decide when the time comes’. Major red flag alert. A commitment phobe needs reassurance that he can escape at a minute’s notice, so arranging a date for a few days down the line puts him into panic mode.
If you’re not familiar with the term, benching is when he doesn’t wanna be with you in a serious relationship, but he doesn’t want to be without you either. He has placed you on the bench, so to speak, texting you when he wants to and ditching you when he doesn’t. He’s trying to have his cake and eat it too – and it’s up to you whether you’re willing to go along with that.
He’s the guy who, when you whisper ‘I love you’, says ‘thanks’. For a commitment phobe, saying the L-word is as serious as marriage, and quite frankly he’s terrified of it. On that note, he also gets sweaty and fidgety when you use the terms ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend.’
If he slips away in the middle of the night, or expects you to do the same and says ’close the door behind you’, he’s probably not up for settling down anytime soon. He won’t be bringing his toothbrush and a change of boxers over and he certainly won’t be staying for breakfast.
When a relationship starts getting serious, talk of family almost always comes up. Eventually, you want to introduce him to your folks and siblings, but if he doesn’t want to? You need to ask yourself why. His reluctance to enter your world wholeheartedly may be a sign he doesn’t want to be there at all.
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