15 Things Only Irish People Who’ve Been Backpacking In Australia Will Know

1. There’s no Aussie equivalent to Penneys

And the clothes are crap. Seriously, what’s the deal with shelling out $40 for a plain white tank top and having it fall apart three weeks later?

2. People will assume you’re going to be drunk all of the time

“BUT YOU’RE IRISH. YOU LOVE A DRINK.” Yeah, the drunk Irish stereotype gets old real fast, guys.

3. Off licenses are called bottleos here

You discovered that on your first outing to get goon.

4. Every Australian thinks they’re Irish

You’re pretty sure that out of all the Australians you’ve met, about 75% have a great grandfather who lived in Cork.

5. Nobody understands a word you’re saying

You’ve slowed your accent way down and you don’t even bother using words like “quare” and “yoke” anymore.

6. You use the C word a whole lot more than you should do

Yeah, you know the one we mean. Acceptable in everyday conversation in Australia. Not so much when you’re back home gossiping about Mary from next door with your mammy at the dinner table.

7. The chocolate doesn’t taste the same

Why can’t we just get our hands on a normal Irish block of Dairy Milk for crying out loud? On that note, why does nowhere stock Tayto?!

8. You never knew it was possible to miss your mam’s roast dinner THIS MUCH

Or the €4 box from your chipper back home. Drool.

9. You’ve lost count of the amount of times you’ve been offered a Guinness

While we’re on the topic, what’s a schooner when it’s at home and why does nobody here drink Fosters?

10. You’re permanently sunburnt

Yeah, thanks pale Irish skin.

11. What the feck are lollies?

Oh you mean jellies. Well why didn’t you say so?!

12. A shocking amount of people think Ireland and England are the same place

There is a large channel of water between us, PEOPLE. Not to mention a separate government, our own language… shall we go on?

13. Tim Tams are great but they’re no match for a chocolate Hobnob and a cup of your mam’s tea

That said, you’d give your left arm for one now that you’re back home.

14. You’re convinced there are more Irish here than actual Australians

Come to think of it, you’ve only spoken to about three real Aussies.

15. Everyone thinks you use phrases like “top of the morning to ya” and “to be sure, to be sure”

You don’t, though you’ve been known to pull them out at 3am in hopes of nabbing yourself a free drink.

• Australia
• Backpacking