Real Talk 1st November 2016 by Victoria Stokes
Fight Right: A Psychologist Has Revealed The Word Couples Should Never Use When They’re Arguing
Ban it it from your vocab now.
Whether you’re dating six months or several years, arguments with your other half happen.
Maybe they never pick up their socks, they don’t make you feel appreciated or they’re simply just grinding your gears with their every move. Whatever the strife, even the healthiest relationships will encounter clashes in some shape or form.
With this is mind then, the key to having a healthy relationship shouldn’t be to avoid having fights, but instead to learn how to navigate them properly and first and foremost that involves honing your communication skills.
The first port of call? Omitting words that shut your partner out.
Chatting to The Huffington Post, psychologist Anna Brosh uses ‘never’ as an example and claims that it’s one word couples definitely shouldn’t use during a heated argument.
“It’s a way of shutting your partner out while leaving them feeling hopeless, Brosh explains. “It creates a sense of finality which leaves no room for further discussion.”
Right then, but if ‘never’ is off the cards, what should we be using?
Well, instead of employing the phrase “You never listen to me,” Brosh suggests replacing it with something like “There are times when I’m not sure you’re really listening to me.’”
Note the tone. The latter does doesn’t sound so much like an accusation and opens up a discussion, instead of an argument.
In short? Don’t use never. Ever.