5 Ways To Make His Sperm Taste Good

He loves a bit of oral action and you're not opposed except for one thing: it tastes completely and utterly horrid! What to do!?

“Easy? You men have no idea what we’re dealing with down there,” complained the notoriously frank Samantha in a much-loved – and now infamous – episode of Sex and The City. “Teeth placement and jaw stress and suction and gag reflex. And all the while bobbing up and down, moaning, and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don’t call it a ‘job’ for nothing,” she continued.

Course, that little speech came about because her beau at the time – Adam – had what Samantha referred to as “funky tasting spunk.”

And, y’know, if you’ve ever had the unpleasant (to put it mildly) experience of tasting funky spunk you’ll undoubtedly never EVER want to experience it again.

Samantha SATC: funky tasting spunk

Unlucky ladies know this is a make or break situation: it doesn’t matter if you’ve found the most aesthetically pleasing, kind, loyal, funny, successful man; if he tastes bad down south, your instant reaction is to show him the door, are we right?

BUT WAIT! Help is at hand! We’ve taken it upon ourselves to find a solution to this pressing problem, we don’t want lose out on a lot of fun because of a bad taste in our mouths’ (sorry, couldn’t resist).

funky tasting spunk

So, here are our top five tips to make his sperm taste super – or at least half way decent.1.

1. Juice it up

Get him to drink as much pineapple and cranberry juice as possible:  it’ll make his semen taste a lot sweeter and fruitier.

2. Load up on water

Remember that semen is mainly made up of water, so the more of it you get him to drink, the more diluted his load will be. Yes, we said load.

3. Avoid caffeine

It may be good for an old pick-me-up but trust: it’ill make you want to puke. Semen already has a slightly salty taste and caffeine is notorious for giving it a bitter taste… and now we’re talking a combo of the two together? No, thanks…

4. Avoid strong smelling foods

What goes in must come out, and this saying applies to his spunk too, unfortunately. So keep garlic, asparagus and onions out of reach.

5. Avoid alcohol and cigarettes

As well as being detrimental to his health, these two can be dastardly for his swimmers. They don’t taste that great on his breath so what do you expect to change as they travel down south? Yup. Nothing.

Lastly, if he follows these tips and there’s still no improvement, then we’re sorry – there’s no helping him, he’s gotta go.