How To Get Your Guy To Go Down On You
You love oral but your new fella - or worse, your long-term beau - won't even go there. Here's how to deal...
Let us start by saying that you cannot force a human being to do something against their will. It’s wrong, but if you’re a woman, and you’re not receiving the optimum ratio of fellatio to cunnilingus in your relationship, you might be getting frustrated enough to make some sort of suggestion.
It can be hard to find a way to broach the subject sensibly, but the first thing to remember is that his lack of oral get-go isn’t a reflection on you and your lady garden.
There may be many reasons why your SO isn’t doing it, but following these five tips might make him a little more eager to try.
1. Have a sexy chat
This sounds too easy to be true. However, dishing out constructive sexual criticism is surprisingly difficult. Before you put in a request for oral, talk about all the things they’re actually doing which turn you on. Tell him you’re dying for more – that way he’ll feel so confident about his skills that he’ll jump in, and you’ll have made him think that it’s his idea. If he hasn’t gone down on you ever, tell him that you read an interesting piece of scientific research which suggested this would lead to the ultimate orgasm. You can’t argue with science, right?
2. Hijack their porn
Find a few hot oral videos, and ask him if he’s up for a sexy viewing party. Yup, people will do anything that’s recommended to them via a screen.
3. Limit blowjobs
This is a bit mean, and it’s not for everyone – if you adore giving blowjobs, you’re cutting off your nose to spite your libido – but if you’re starting to feel a bit desperate, it’s worth considering. Hold back on the blowjobs for a bit. The lack of oral action may be enough to show you’re partner why you feel like you’re missing out.
4. Have ‘the chat’
We hate to say this, but if your carefully couched sexy suggestions are going nowhere, you need to bring this up away from the bedroom, fully clothed and sober. Tell them that you’re bringing it up because it’s on your mind and you’re worried. If you storm in on the offensive it will end badly, so make sure your partner knows you’re sad, not angry, and that oral sex is important to you.
5. Give him an ultimatum
Hopefully it won’t come to this, but you might have to decide whether you want to stay in your orally sexless relationship, or to seek the embrace of someone new. That might sound a bit drastic, but if your partner hears you pour your heart out about it and still isn’t prepared to consider your needs, it might be a sign that he’s not only selfish between the sheets, but also in the relationship in general. If this is the case, move on, ladyfriend. There’ll be plenty of others willing to give your lady bits the love they deserve.
By Jennifer Conway.
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