Tinder can be bumpy dating terrain, but there is hope.
Dating apps are often compared to scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to the search to find love. And really, it’s not difficult to see why. More pond life seems to reside in the corners of Tinder, Bumble, Plenty Of Fish et al than you’ll ever find in any dingy bar or club on a night out. These apps represent a world of unwelcome dick pics, catfishing and more often than not, romantic disappointment.
But that’s just one side of the dating app world. Tinder and co may get a bad rep for being hookup apps that lead only to sleazy one night stands, but really that’s not the whole story. There are loads of couples out there finding love at their finger tips. In fact, a recent US study discovered that some 40% of couples first meet online, while Statistic Brain claims that 17% of couples married in the past year met on a dating site. And the good news doesn’t end there. Couples who met on a dating site or app may have more fulfilling marriages than those who didn’t, at least, according to a study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
So, if Tinder and the rest have you at the end of your dating tether, maybe don’t write it off just yet. Here we chat to three couples who found love in the sometimes murky world of online dating.
Claire, 30, and Chris, 31, met on Bumble and have been happily dating for over a year
“I was never a girl who chased a guy; I never wanted to settle for anyone who didn’t love me, but returning home from New Zealand and being nearly 30 I decided maybe I should make more of an effort to meet someone so I downloaded Tinder. I was messaging a few guys but it was more about hook ups, sending sexy pics or threesome offers; not really what I was looking for. I heard about Plenty Of Fish and so I gave it a go too.
It resulted in a few dates but I found by the profiles you knew everything about
that person before you spoke to them and there were loads of creeps on there too. Then I gave up; I got bored and deleted them all… until a friend downloaded Bumble on my phone and said I should give it a a go.
After a terrible day in work, I swiped and matched with Chris. As Bumble makes the girl talk first, I messaged him with a simple ‘Hiya…’ and he replied! We messaged back
and forth for a few days, then he asked for my number to WhatsApp instead and within two weeks we had our first date. We met on a Wednesday night for a few drinks, then the next evening we went to the beach for a walk. By Sunday, we took a day trip together and spent the evening watching DVDs. Things moved fast!
After two months, we said ‘I love you’ and had our first weekend away together. Since then, we’ve exchanged our own horror stories about online dating but we’re glad that we stuck with it. We’re now together a year and two months and happier than ever. We enjoy hanging out on our own, and together with family and friends and I am completely head over heels in love with him and he feels the same way.
If I had given up a er the crazy weird dates (the one where the guy brought his mother, the one where the guy grilled me about where my life was going, and the one who asked me straight up on the first date if I wanted kids) then I probably wouldn’t have met Chris. You have to weed out the creeps to get the good ones and it took me a year on and off sites to find him but I did and I couldn’t be happier.”
Francesca, 27, and her boyfriend Craig, 28, are moving to Canada together after matching on Tinder three years ago
“I’d been single about a month having just split up from someone. I had met that guy on Tinder too so when he broke up with me, I downloaded it and got back in the dating saddle! I had been on dating apps on and off when I was single, for about a year and half. I think when you become single, it’s almost habit for friends to recommend getting back on Tinder or get back out there.
I was working in Dublin at the time and I matched with Craig who lived in the area. We met up on a Saturday night for a date in town (where we both had wayyyy too much to drink) then we went on a cinema date the next Thursday and the rest is history! We will be together three years in October and he is my rock. We are moving to Canada in January together so we have only ever gone from strength to strength.
I definitely think the best advice is to just give online dating a chance and keep swiping. We all hear horror stories about dating apps but at times, those horror stories make great ice-breakers on dates when they ask about a bad date! If I hadn’t been on Tinder, I don’t think I would have met my boyfriend.
Dating is definitely fun and I think as much as dating apps have a bad reputation, they do give people confidence to put themselves out there more so than if you were to approach someone on a night out. There will always be good and bad with everything. I have a very good friend who also met their partner on Tinder and they recently got engaged so it’s nice to know that there are nice normal fellas on Tinder too and not just lads looking for the ride!”
Julie and Gavin, both 29, got engaged four years after matching on Tinder and are getting married next year
“Myself and Gavin are real Tinder love. It was October 2013 and I had been single for 8 months; I’d never used any other dating apps before and was only on Tinder four days before I met Gavin. After swiping right and chatting for some time, I deleted it and myself and Gavin went on our first date.
Gavin picked me up from my house and brought me on a surprise first date. On a cold November evening, we went to Dún Laoghaire pier and Gavin brought a tub of ice-cream, ice-cream cones and sprinkles, and we made our own ‘Teddy’s ice-cream’ on the pier. We laughed the whole time on the date and shared our first kiss at the Forty Foot underneath the stars. It was so beautiful and the most incredible date I had ever been on.
Four and a bit years later, Gavin brought me back to Dún Laoghaire pier where we shared our first date for the proposal. As I was sitting on the steps at the bottom of the pier Gavin went down on one knee. Unbeknownst to me, Gavin had a photographer there to take pictures as it all unfolded. It was all so perfect and I have never been so happy and in love. It was such a day for celebration as it was also the day I finished my two years studying a masters in primary education.
A year later and we have our wedding venue in Co. Tipperary secured. We adore our venue and are both so excited to get married next summer. I’d advise anyone using dating apps to make sure the person they’re talking to makes them laugh out loud, even though apart, and the conversation is effortless. When you eventually meet up then you’ll be so at ease, as at least you know the date will be fun. You already think they’re good looking as you swiped right, so an amazing personality that makes your cheeks hurt from laughing, who’s also gorgeous – you’re on to a winner!”