“I Spent The Date Staring Across At His Hairy Wet Chest” And Other Morto Dating Stories

He was about 50 pounds heavier than he was in his profiler.

Andee, 24

I’d been chatting to this guy on Plenty Of Fish for a few days when he messaged me to say he wanted to take me out some place nice for dinner. He seemed really sweet and he looked pretty cute in his profile pic so I agreed. Oh, how wrong I was! When we met up he was about 50 pounds heavier than he was in his profiler, and the “some place nice” he wanted to take me out to was… KFC! The final straw was when I was ordering a burger, and he told, “oh no sweetie, order from the salads, I don’t want you to get fat.” I marched off, but not before telling him where to shove his salad, and to heed his own shoddy advice.

I spent the rest of the date staring across at his hairy wet chest.

Kerrie, 26

The worst date I ever went on was with a guy a work friend had set me up with. We’d planned to go for dinner and on the way there was a torrential downpour. I was absolutely drenched and was freaking out about my hair and make-up being messed up. I needn’t have worried. When my date got there he’d obviously got caught in the rain too, and his white shirt had gone see through. What made matters worse was that, he was so uncomfortable in his wet clothes over dinner that he decided it was totally acceptable to remove his wet shirt and sit there topless. I spent the rest of the date staring across at his hairy wet chest. Needless to say I didn’t see him again.

He just stared at me blankly, holding my hands, while I scrambled to make conversation.

Niamh, 23

The award for the most socially awkward date I’ve ever been on goes to a guy I met a few years back. We went on two dates, and on both occasions, he didn’t speak. He just stared at me blankly, holding my hands, while I scrambled to make conversation. At first I thought he was just shy, but after date two of virtual silence I decided not to meet him again.

Judging by the sounds coming through the bathroom door I knew he was not a well man.

Aoife, 27

I was on my second date with a guy I met on Tinder and it was going really well. So well in fact that we rushed through dinner at a fancy restaurant and hotfooted it back to my gaff for some fun. Things we’re getting hot and heavy in my room, when all of his sudden his stomach made this massive growl. We ignored it and continued making out, until it started grumbling again.

Suddenly he jumped up and ran straight to the bathroom. Judging by the sounds coming through the door I knew he was not a well man. He sheepishly emerged from the bathroom about 20 minutes later to say that he had diarrhea and obviously had got food poisoning from the restaurant. Probably not the most romantic thing you wanna hear when you’ve just started dating, but the night wasn’t a complete disaster; we managed to laugh it off and we’re happily coupled up now.

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• Dating
• love
• Relationships
• Sex