Revealed: The One Behaviour That’s Sure To End Your Relationship

It's not how you fight, but the way you do it.

Couple fighting

Every couple have their fights, but according to leading psychologist John Gottman, it’s the way you fight which can spell disaster for your relationship.

The bickering no-no? It’s showing contempt for your partner.

Using the example that you’ve asked your other half to buy groceries but they’ve come back with the wrong thing, John explains that it’s how you react to this situation which has the biggest impact.

If on the one hand, you get mad, but are understanding of your SO’s mistake, it suggests you know how to have a ‘healthy’ fight. If on the other hand, you fight and display a mix of anger and disgust, it suggests that you don’t see your partner as an equal in the relationship, and ultimately, John predicts that this is toxic.

While this kind of behaviour is usually indicative of the relationship as a whole, and not something that can be sewn up with a quick fix, John explains that you can usually tell the direction an argument is going to take within the first three minutes.

This he calls the ‘harsh startup’, explaining that when an argument leads off with criticism it usually ends on a negative note.

With this in mind, if you want to stop a small fight turning into a massive row, you should exercise a little understanding from the beginning, and keep those nasty critical comments at bay.

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