The 6 Emotional Stages Of Having Sex With Your Ex

Because we've all been there, right?


We’ve all been there at one stage or another. We know in our heart and soul that it’s not the best decision in the world to jump back in the sack with an ex, but sometimes it just… happens. Sure we’ll probably end up suffering in the long run, but it feels right at the time.

If you’ve been there, you’ll probably relate to these six stages…

1. So many questions

You begin to wonder exactly why said A-hole is getting back in touch. Does he miss you? Does he want sex? Has he now begun to realise that he’s lost a good thing? You also consider if this is even a good idea. Should you give it a go? Will you be hurt in the end? Would it be leading them on if it’s just plain sex? Will they expect more? Was the sex even that good to consider reconciling? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

2. Daydreaming about the good times

You start to think of all of the good reasons why you should sleep with them. You may even still have feelings for them, or you might just want to have a ‘sticky quicky.’ No judgement here…. You remember all of the romps you once had, and the times that you actually high-fived after an amazingly successful sesh. *Sigh*

3.  Awkward Memories

Both of you are undressed in under 30 seconds flat, and the heavy-petting begins. Oh yeah, there’s that annoying grunting noise he used to make during foreplay. You begin to think this is a mistake. Then he does that thing you like. Nope, this isn’t a mistake this is the best decision I’ve probably ever made, no exaggeration.

4. This is bloody brilliant

You look up and remember what his face looks like from that angle, and you also remember how sweaty he used to get during sex. Feck it, he’s good at it, knows exactly what gets you going and you’re actually having a lot of fun. Why did we ever break up?

5. So this is awkward

You’re both lying there in the afterglow, sweaty and breathless. You can’t help but think that this probably wasn’t a great idea. If it was good, then you don’t have it anymore, but if it was bad, then you’ve just had shitty sex with your shitty ex…

6. Been there, don’t do that again!

The days following the sex can be filled with a sense of accomplishment, or, on the flip side, deep regret. Either way the deed has been done and there’s no point dwelling on it or giving yourself a hard time over it. All that’s left to do at this stage is to brush that dirt off of your shoulders,  pretend it never happened and get on with your life.


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