The Dating Diaries: I Went On A Date With My Ex And It Was Predictably A Disaster
Our dating columnist revisits the past with absolutely disastrous consequences.
So, against the advice of all my friends I’ve decided to return to old, familiar territory; er, my first ever boyfriend. He’d been persistently Snapchatting me for a few weeks, so I suggested we meet for a drink and he said he’d love to.
Now let me give you the background to our relationship. I was 16, he was 18 and I was nothing short of head-over-heels in love. We were together for a year and a half before he broke it off out of the blue, and I was understandably absolutely heart broken. It took me about a year to move on properly but ever since I have he has been contacting me 24/7. Typical.
So, I decided rather than having another disastrous date, why not go on a date with an old flame? After all, I know we get along, he’s attractive and best of all he’s already aware of all my irksome habits.
I was getting ready for the date and found myself frantically changing my outfits. I was so nervous and I couldn’t understand why. I was only meeting Craig after all.
I arrived to The South William and he was no where to be seen. I sat down at the bar and ordered myself a vodka and Red Bull. I was going to need it to ease the shame of being the first to arrive.
Why on earth did I want to go on a date with this boy who totally broke my heart?
Half an hour went by and he was still a no-show. I was on my third vodka and Red Bull at this stage and reliving the memories of our break-up. Why on earth did I want to go on a date with this boy who totally broke my heart?
I couldn’t believe Craig had stood me up and I could feel myself getting more and more angry, so when a gentleman approached me at the bar and asked to buy me a drink I of course said yes and told him to make it a double.
I made up a story about how my friend couldn’t make it due to food poisoning when talking to this guy, and I have to say after my fourth drink (beer goggles in tact) he actually seemed decent looking and we got along great.
After half an hour of chatting though I could tell that it wouldn’t be long before my vodka and red bulls repeated on me, so I made my excuses and left, but not before he took my number.
I was at the door of The South William and who do I see? Craig running up to me saying “I’m so so sorry! I rang you so many times but your phone was off. I got held back in work. Can we go inside I’m dying for a drink?”.
I wasn’t sure which was going to come out first, word vomit or real vomit. It turned out it was the latter, and that’s when I started yelling, telling him he broke my heart and I never wanted to see him again. He looked morto and made his apologies before making a swift exit.
I have never been so embarrassed. I will never live this down. If you’re looking for me over the next few weeks I will be hiding in a hole in the ground.