Buy Yourself Flowers: Why We Should All Be Treating Ourselves To Nice Things

Photo by Valeria Boltneva

Miley Cyrus has started many a musical revolution in her time, but her latest is a movement that has inspired women everywhere to realise that they can love, treat and take care of themselves better than anyone else.

Whether she intended the song to just be an incredibly catchy dig at her ex Liam Hemsworth, or an intentional move to get women, event those in the happiest relationships, chanting along, there’s something in the ‘Flowers’ lyrics that has us all in a chokehold since it was released.

It’s empowering to hear and scream in your car, but you know what’s even more empowering? Actually treating yourself.

Women are often the caretakers of everyone else around them, but it’s important to practice self-care too. Women need to consciously set aside time and money to spend with and on themselves. It’s not always an easy thing to do. Sometimes we think that a treat is something we can’t justify, some even feel guilty picking up their favourite shampoo if it’s pricey – but you deserve a good hair day!

Treats are also often linked to a heartbreak or a time when someone did you wrong. You’ve probably heard of the ‘revenge ring’, after all. It’s important to pick yourself up in these situations, sure, but shouldn’t we be doing these things on the regular, even when life is great? Why should we need an excuse to make ourselves happy?

Chupi Sweetman, owner of Chupi jewellery feels strongly about celebrating your wins, both big and small. “For my very first pay cheque from my first serious job, I bought a beautiful designer leather overnight bag. It was a scandalous amount of money at the time, but that was 18 years ago and I still use the bag for every trip away. It reminds me of how terrified and brave I felt stepping into that new role,” she recalls.

“When I think about how I want to remember my life when I’m 80, I think about the big romantic moments like falling in love and getting married. But equally I want to celebrate the moments where I overcame something or achieve something huge just for myself. Jewellery is the biography of our lives, I want mine to celebrate, love, hope, and every moment in between.”

Photo by Godisable Jacob

And that’s exactly it. Celebrate your own moments. Things can be so easily brushed under the rug as just another day, but when you deserve a win, take it.

Amanda’s* partner used to buy her favourite perfume for her birthday every year, before he sadly passed away in 2015. Now, she carries on the tradition, “I still get myself a bottle of Dior perfume every year and kept up the treat. I always feel on top of the world wearing the scent knowing that I valued myself enough to do this,” she tells STELLAR. “The other thing I did last year was join one of those fancy, expensive gyms. I thought ‘I keep saving and what for?’ No one is guaranteed to see tomorrow,” she adds.

Amanda keeps this in mind with the little things in life, “Put your best frock on and go get a coffee and cake in a posh place,” she said for those who may need inspiration. “Do it because no one else will, you will feel empowered. Save for it, and when the time comes you can buy with ease.”

We’ve been spoon-fed the idea of a romantic partner buying us gifts, rings, and flowers, but in reality, you shouldn’t rely on another person to treat you. Whether you’re single, married or anywhere in between, it’s important to buy something nice for yourself. Self-worth is built in many forms, whether it’s positive affirmations ors pending some money on yourself, you’re telling yourself that you are worthy and important.

Multiple women I have spoken to on this topic told me that they buy themselves flowers every month. True to the song, they shared that the simplicity of having fresh flowers in the house brings such joy and is a colourful, beautiful reminder of self-love.

“At the moment, I can afford supermarket flowers but wealth to me would be when I can afford flowers from a local florist twice a month. When I see them daily it reminds me to be kind to myself and I feel like I have my life together when I invest in the small pleasures,” Hannah explains.

But flowers and jewellery aren’t the only ways to make yourself feel special. Think about what really makes you happy. For some it could be watercolour paints, for others, a cosy blanket to make working from home that bit more luxurious. Even your favourite treat to have with a cuppa can be a moment of bliss.

But by denying ourselves these small things we’re sending a message within to say we’re not deserving. The mentality of working towards something is encouraging and great, but we don’t always have to be waiting until we ‘deserve’ something nice. And we certainly don’t have to wait until someone else thinks to do it for us.

Treat yourself for that tough day you had but made it through, for being a good friend, partner or mother or just for being you! You already deserve it.

• life
• self love