Survivor Becka Clarke: ‘I’m Replacing My Shame With Drive’

It was Becka Clarke’s first time speaking at a rally this week. She joined ROSA’s Dublin city march to end gender based violence on the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, and it was there that she shared her own story.

In 2022, Becka was assaulted in the carpark of a Wexford hotel. The person was a stranger to her, and attacked her while she was waiting for her fiancé to pick her up.

The Gardaí were called after Becka’s assault. She gave her statement, and a man was arrested. Not long after, he was charged and a file was send to the DPP. A year later Becka was informed that they had decided not to prosecute due to the “high standard of proof required” to establish consent, or a lack thereof.

“When I heard initially in 2024 that they weren’t going to prosecute it was just a statement. No reason why,” she tells STELLAR. “I requested the summary of reasons and that came around two or three weeks after I made my appeal. They’re not saying I didn’t give consent, they’re saying their high standard of proving lack of consent hasn’t been met.” 

Becka detailed some of the DPP’s reasoning in her speech this week .“I concluded that the evidence was not strong enough to establish the issue of consent to the high standard of proof required,” the statement read.

“Something in me wouldn’t let me sit there and move on,” she says. “I couldn’t process it without trying to push and see what is going wrong with the justice system that this is happening. There was a fire and determination in me that wouldn’t let me rest.” 

In Ireland, the standard of proof for a rape conviction must be beyond a reasonable doubt. The justice system requires the prosecution to prove that the crime took place, that the victim did not consent.

“They’re saying themselves that the standard is impossibly high,” says Becka. “My case is just one example, there’s been so many like me who never get their day in court. There’s some who do, but there is no easy way for anyone to get justice. There are so many hurdles women have to go through. It’s cruel.”

The Dublin Rape Crisis Centre’s National Helpline received 22,700 contacts in 2024, while there were 1,879 disclosures of sexual abuse against women made to Women’s Aid in the same year.

Becka’s is one case of many. Of the thousands who contact helplines, share their experiences with loved ones, and report to the Gardaí, only a handful will make it to the courts. Some will decided not to report at all – something that Becka sympathises with completely.

“My detectives were adamant that we’d go to court. I didn’t even foresee it being an issue. You put away that pain until you have to face it, so I completely understand why some people don’t come forward. If you told me a few months ago that I’d be in this position, would I change my decision to report? I can’t say whether I would or not, but it would be something to reconsider.”

Since sharing her story, hundreds of women have reached out to Becka – to speak about their own experiences of sexual violence, and the ways in which they have felt silenced. “It’s hard when you see the numbers, how many people are messaging,” she says. “It’s not good enough that they’ve been in this position.

“What I’ve been saying a lot lately over the past few months is that we need to get comfortable speaking about the uncomfortable. For two reasons – for stigma because there is so much shame and there is nothing to be ashamed of, and because we’re never going to get change if we don’t use our voices to put pressure on the government to get the reform we need.”

Recent months have been hard for Becka, but they have also been empowering. At the ROSA march this week she walked alongside those also seeking change, including Natasha O’Brien and Hazel Behan– not alone, but in solidarity.

 

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“I felt so safe with these women, so empowered. I felt so much drive, I felt connected,” she says. “It was, in a strange way, really wholesome. I now have these women in my life. Unfortunately we had to go through something unspeakable, but I cannot describe the connection we have now.

“Shame is something I’ve had to battle with. I know I have nothing to be ashamed of, and I don’t feel shame any more. I do feel like I’ve got more purpose. I’m replacing those feelings of shame and powerlessness with drive and confidence and empowerment.”

If you have been affected by any of the details in this article you can contact the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre’s national helpline on 1800 77 8888.