‘What The Hell Was I Thinking?’: Britney Spears Has Spoken Out About Her ‘Awful’ 2007 Breakdown

It’s been ten years since Britney Spears’ very public breakdown in 2007, and the pop star has only just opened up about that “awful” time of her life.

Speaking to the Israeli paper, Yediot Ahronot, Britney reflected on her twenties as a time when she’d lost control of her life and did things she’s since come to regret.

The Toxic singer started by saying, “I think I had fun when I was younger. I was a pretty normal girl, a tomboy. But my 20s were awful. My 30s are much better for me. I’ve learned to get to know myself better.”

Back then, she couldn’t choose certain things for herself. “There were many decisions that were made for me and that I didn’t make myself,” the now 35-year-old explained, and when asked if she’d been overprotected by the people closest to her, she continued, “Something like that.”

“My life was controlled by too many people and that doesn’t really let you be yourself. In that situation, when you’re not in control, you become less excited, and there’s less passion when it comes to music.

“I wrote back then that I was lost and didn’t know what to do with myself. I was trying to please everyone around me because that’s who I am deep inside. There are moments where I look back and think, ‘What the hell was I thinking?'”

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One such moment was her performance at the 2001 VMAs in which she danced to I’m A Slave For You with a large, yellow python called Banana. Britney said that, looking back on that time, it was a “scary” and “stupid” thing to do, adding that “I would never do that again.”

And when asked about her breakdown, during which she escaped an LA rehab centre and shaved her head in a popular salon, the mother-of-two said, “I think I had to give myself more breaks through my career and take responsibility for my mental health.”

At the time, she’d been going through a very public divorce from dancer Kevin Federline, was struggling with her weight and was overwhelmed by the constant media attention that followed her everywhere she went. “Those were the toughest years,” she admits, “I think the paparazzi took off the pressure after I didn’t leave my house for two years.”

But in the decade since then, things have turned around for the star. She spends a lot more time with her family – especially her sons, Sean and Jayden, and she’s conscious to always look after her mental health now.

“Today I’m at a better place in my life. My kids shaped my personality and filled me. They made me not worry about what was happening to me.”