My STELLAR Slimming World Diary: Week One

For some people, deciding to join Slimming World comes after a big revelation. You’ve just seen a snap of yourself at a recent wedding and thought, ‘no more!’; or you’ve realised that you’ve let things go too far, and now’s the time to change.

For me? Not so much. I’ve been on some form of diet or another since I was 14 when, at the (I thought) hefty weight of 11 stone, I trotted along to my local Weight Watchers and began a lengthy period of yo-yo dieting and weight fluctuations.

As well as the aforementioned WW, I’ve tried the cabbage soup diet (I lasted a day), a juice detox (36 hours), the Dukan diet (don’t ask me to explain it cos I’ve no clue), Atkins (miserable and, ugh, bad breath)… and ultimately, I think that if I’d never dieted at all, my attitude to food would be a whole lot healthier.

Here I am, judging the Great Lengths Ireland Awards with Beaut.ie’s Andrea Kissane and hair guru Michael Leong

Which brings us up to May 2015 when, after hearing a friend was joining, I decided to check out Slimming World – after all, I’d heard great things, and even some mutterings about how you could eat as much pasta as you wanted and still lose weight. What had I got to lose?

This is not for the Deliciously Ella die-hards among us.

Let’s get one thing straight: Slimming World is dead different to any other diet I’d tried. The bones of it are: eat as much rice, potatoes and pasta as you like; add to that lean fish and meat; and go crazy on fruit and vegetables (except avocado – this is not for the Deliciously Ella die-hards among us).

Every meal needs to be at least one-third ‘speed’, that is, green, leafy vegetables or high-speed fruits (anything that’s crunchy or watery – not bananas, melons or blueberries, which are too high in sugar).

You also get two ‘Healthy Extras’ a day – from category A, a specific portion of dairy and, from category B, some high-fibre wholemeal goodness. Anything you eat outside of your ‘free’ allowance needs to be counted as a ‘syn’, of which you’re allowed between five and 15 a day.

Sounds complicated, right? Right.

I swear, in week one I read the book approximately four times. But I just could not get my head around it! So I did what any sensible person would do, and, er, ate what I’d usually eat. Except I went to Inchydoney Island Lodge & Spa for two nights (and got a McDonald’s on the way down); in the car on the way back, I ate an entire cinema-sized bag of Cadbury’s Caramel Nibbles; on Monday, I was a judge at the Great Lengths Ireland Awards in Fade St Social (where I, obviously, ate everything).

The beach at Inchydoney on which I took a light stroll

Rocking up to my second weigh-in, I was… cautiously optimistic. I mean, I hadn’t eaten that much bread on my holliers, and I’d gone for a walk on the beach! And I’d lost… half a pound.

Now, half a pound lost is still a loss, right? And it’s better than a kick in the teeth. But at the meeting afterwards, while going through everyone’s losses and gains, one of the girls who’d joined the same week as I had was congratulated for a loss of, wait for it, nine and a half pounds. That’s 9.5 blocks of Kerrygold butter, or 9.5 bags of sugar. That’s a large baby, right there.

Rocking up to my second weigh-in, I was… cautiously optimistic.

So how do I feel? Absolutely raging – and determined to get to grips with this whole synning-is-winning mentality. (After I eat this Indian takeaway I’ve just ordered. After all, I have a week to make amends, right?)

PS These are the only two photographs I could find on the internet in which you could see my body. When I’ve reached the end of this ‘journey’, I’m hoping that’ll be very different.

• diet
• Slimming World
• weight loss