Ask James: ‘Do I Tell My Friend He Is Being Cheated On?’

My friend has started dressing like me. She began by wearing her hair similarly, now it’s clothing, etc. I don’t know why, but it’s doing my head in! Can I ask her to stop? Michaela, Dublin

To be frank, no, you can’t ask her to stop. You’ll honestly look like a bit of a dictator if you do that. I’ve seen this happen to two friends of mine and it drove my friend mental – but I don’t think there’s anything to be done about it. If you just step back and REALLY think about this: you most likely dress in a style that loads of other people do – it’s very hard to be completely original these days in fash. You’re most likely being influenced by someone else, and thus the cycle continues! Your friend probably looks up to you, and I think that’s mad cute. I say let her be your mini you and let her live.

I’m friends with this couple and have heard that the girl is cheating on the guy. Do I tell him? I don’t want to rock the boat – both of them are my best friends separately! Ailbhe, Dublin

A sticky situaysh indeed! If you get involved and tell the guy, you will be the bad guy to the girl. If you don’t and the guy finds out, and also finds out that you knew, you’ll be the bad guy to the guy. If it were me, I’d have a conversation with the girl and tell her you know what’s going on and give her some advice (i.e. get a grip and cop on). If she continues and ignores your advice, well, she ain’t a good person and perhaps it’s time to tell the guy and be a good friend to him. OR you could just be a chicken and watch from the sidelines with popcorn while it all implodes and claim you knew nothin’ about nothin’.

I hear more and more about open relationships these days and it’s something I think I’d like to explore. How do I perhaps suggest this to my boyfriend without him freaking out? Ciara, Cork

I’ve said this in many a column, but the key to a healthy relaysh is COMMUNICAYSH! Eggshells shouldn’t exist in a relationship. If something upsets you, say it straight away. If they do something that’s super cute, shower them back with love. If you wanna try something new in the sex department, don’t hold back, suggest it! Unfortunately, some people simply aren’t excited by chains and whips. Same rule applies here for the notion of an open relationship: suggest it. But do consider his feelings and also consider why you want it. Are you bored of him? Is the sex dull? Are you perhaps actually just over your relationship? Talk to yourself first and figure out why you want it, and then address it with him.

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