Fashion and Beauty 23rd March 2018 by Valerie Loftus
13 Beauty Rites Of Passage Every Irish Girl Went Through In The 2000s
All the stages we've gone through to get to where we are now, beauty-wise.
We didn’t always have YouTube tutorials and influencers to guide us through the thorny maze that is beauty. We had to figure things out for ourselves… and that didn’t always go so well. Do you recognise any of these classic rites of passage?
Age 11: Get a braid while on holiday in Tenerife. Feel incredibly cool for a few weeks until your mam makes you cut the ratty thing out of your head, leaving you with a very stylish tuft of hair that you’re not sure has ever grown out properly.
Age 12: Realise you now have hairy legs and that this is incorrect, though you’re not sure why. Dig out your mam’s Veet and attempt to remove the hair, but make a godawful mess of yourself and the bathroom instead.
Age 13: Successfully* shave your legs for the first time. (*’Successfully’ = only six cuts instead of 12.)
Age 14: Get introduced to the wonder of Jolen by a friend, and begin bleaching the everloving f**k out of your ‘moustache’. This is carried out in the utmost secrecy.
Age 14 and a half: Discover Max Factor Pan Stik. Turn your face two shades darker than it naturally is, forget to rub it into your neck, and clap yourself on the back for a job well done.
Age 15: Become obsessed with having less eyebrows, somehow. Pluck them until they resemble two little commas sitting on your forehead, and feel genuinely stunning.
Age 15 and a half: Indulge in eyeliner. So much eyeliner. But only on your bottom lash line, and with no mascara, for reasons that cannot yet be explained.
Age 16: Have first run-in with boxed hair dye, resulting in your head turning a horrific shade of orange/blue-black/bright red. Style it out, because what else can you do?
Age 16 and a half: Start collecting Impulse body sprays and So…? perfumes which you spray liberally all over your person at various intervals throughout the day, leaving a trail of sickly sweet scent in your wake.
Age 17: Insist on straightening your hair with your hard-earned GHDs every day, and actually get upset if you have to go outside with even the slightest bend in your hair.
Age 18: Have your first truly awful haircut inspired by someone impossibly cool and beautiful like Rihanna or Natalie Portman. Cry, cry again, and invest in a 100-pack of Penneys hair clips and a hat to hide your shame.
Age 18 and a half: Get makeup professionally done for the debs. Marvel as the MUA actually blends your eyeshadow, something you’d never even considered doing before.
Age 19: Convince yourself that because you have exactly one MAC lipstick now, you’re actually good at makeup. Completely fail to realise that you’re wrong… so wrong.
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