Life 29th April 2019 by Valerie Loftus

The 14 Greatest Films About Babies Of All Time

Considering how many people HAVE babies, there aren't too many films ABOUT babies.

Juno

The film that made a star out of Ellen Page and writer Diablo Cody, it’s quite a simple premise of teen pregnancy, thwarted adoption and abortion, but it’s made special in the quirky way it’s shot and scripted. Michael Cera is adorable as the gormless best friend slash dad-to-be, and Page plays 16-year-old Juno really thoughtfully. Lots of great one liners abound, and the legends Allison Janney and JK Simmons are amazing as Juno’s off-kilter parents.

Look Who’s Talking

This film was such a smash hit in 1989 that it spawned several sequels, and made celebrity Scientologists Kirstie Alley and John Travolta renewed hot property in Hollywood. Narrated by newborn baby Mikey (with the voice of none other than Bruce Willis), the film follows Alley as she gives birth to a married man’s baby.

All Mikey wants is for his mam to date a good father figure, but sadly she can’t hear his pearls of infant wisdom…

Junior

In the 90s, it’s like producers tried to come up with the most preposterous and outlandish roles for Arnold Schwarzenegger imaginable. We can’t think how they arrived at Junior otherwise, in which Arnie plays a pregnant man. Not even a pregnant trans man, just a guy who’s knocked up despite not having a womb or a vagina. He teamed up with his Twins co-star Danny DeVito for the outing, and even Emma fecking Thompson is in it. It was a different time.

What To Expect When You’re Expecting

After Love Actually, there was a spate of Hollywood ensemble cast flicks in which the premise and cast seemed more important than any plot – think Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve and He’s Just Not That Into You. This is in a similar vein, but it’s actually pretty good!

Father Of The Bride II

As the old saying goes, first comes marriage and then comes a baby in a golden carriage. Well, we doubt Annie Banks was expecting her middle-aged ma to be knocked up at the same time as her, but that’s the plot of this sequel starring Steve Martin and Diane Keaton. It’s more slapstick than part one, but has just as much heart and humour.

Knocked Up

So many of us have been there – you go home with an unsuitable fella, contraception fails you (or is discarded) and you’re left feeling mortified. Most of us would get the morning after pill (and an STI test) if we were concerned, but not Katherine Heigl’s Allison. It’s only weeks later when she starts feeling ropey that she realises she’s been impregnated by a jobless stoner who’s perfectly nice, but hardly dad material.

With one of the most graphic labour scenes of all time and excellent supporting performances from Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd, it’s pretty great.

Children Of Men

This one is considerably darker than the others. The world is ending because women are no longer able to have children (similar to the apocalyptic setting of The Handmaid’s Tale), but a group of revolutionaries are trying to protect the future of the human race – a young girl with a very big bump. There’s lots of death and destruction and the film is sort of like a Messiah story, but it’s incredibly well shot and acted, and will make you think.

Bridget Jones’ Baby

They couldn’t just leave our Bridge alone, they had to wheel her out for a third go. In the books, her beloved Mark Darcy has died, but in this movie they’ve simply broken up. After some sex with the ex and a festival fling with Patrick Dempsey, Bridget finds herself in the family way but doesn’t know who the daddy is. Calamity ensues, obvs. Campier than the first film, but watchable too.

Baby Mama

The dream coupling of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler is what makes this film work. Tina plays Kate, a 30-something businesswoman who decides to take motherhood into her own hands only to find out that she has an inhospitable womb. Devastated, she decides to hire a surrogate to carry her child. Enter Angie, who is in fact only pretending to be pregnant to leech off Kate. However then she actually ends up pregnant with her ex’s baby, and all hell breaks loose.

Baby Boom

Diane Keaton plays a harassed businesswoman, constantly subjected to misogyny by her male peers, but she’s well able for them. Then when she inherits a baby from her long-lost cousin, everything goes tits up as she struggles to care for the child and maintain her career woman status. When she’s forced to take a break from the office for a while, she escapes to the country. Will it make or break her? This is Hollywood, baby, so of course it’ll be the former…

Three Men and a Baby

I personally prefer Three Men and a Little Lady because as opposed to being a straight up rom com, this film has a creepy crime element in which the baby has somehow got caught up with a weird gang of robbers. Little Mary is left on the doorstep of her playboy dad and his two roomies, the very epitome of New York bachelors, but they all end up falling for the little bundle and are half devo when her mum Sylvia comes to claim her.

The Object of My Affection

Jennifer Aniston stars as Nina, a newly pregnant woman who starts to really fancy her gay best friend, ignoring the fact that you know, he’s gay. They plan on raising her child together after she kicks boyfriend Vince to the kerb, but her feelings start to get in the way. It’s a bit of a funny one, with Paul Rudd’s character kind of leading Nina on, but as with most rom-coms, all’s well that ends well. And Sarah Hyland plays JenAn’s little gal, Molly!

Nine Months

Hot off the heels of Four Weddings and a Funeral but before the success of Notting Hill, Hugh Grant found himself in a few odd roles, including this Hollywood romp in which he finds himself playing a commitment-phobe whose girlfriend (Julianne Moore) has just announced she’s pregnant. Cue Hugh’s character Samuel’s obvious freak out, encounters with hellish children and a subsequent breakup. Can Samuel realise in time what he really wants? Well, of course he can, but it’s still an enjoyable couple of hours.

The Back Up Plan

What happens when you meet the man of your dreams the very same day you’ve decided to go it alone on the motherhood front and been artificially inseminated with a stranger’s sperm? That very complex question is the premise for this JLo vehicle, and while you’re never really in doubt how it will all play out, there’s lots of spills and thrills along the way. Including the fact that said artificial insemination results in twins…

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