Real Talk 22nd April 2015 by Victoria Stokes

3 Questions You Need To Ask Before You Move In With Your Boyfriend

You reckon it's time to shack up with yer man. Here's how to know for sure.

couple relaxing at home

You and yer fella know each other pretty darn well at this stage. You’re familiar with all his traits, adorable, and, um, otherwise, you know how to handle him when he’s in a sulk, and you feel pretty damn happy when you’re together, so natch you wanna take the next step and move in together. But hold up! Before you even think about shacking up, you need to ask these three important questions.

1. Are you both committed?

“Generally speaking the length of a relationship is indicative of the commitment level,” explains Bernadette Ryan, psychotherapist at Relationships Ireland. “But the right time to move in together depends very much on the couple. The important thing is that both of you are able to talk openly about where the relationship is going,” she explains. “You’ll need to clarify if moving in together is a step that will eventually lead to marriage, or if it’s just to experience living under the same roof. Make sure you’re both committed, and on the same page about the future before you start picking out china patterns.”

Make sure that the very early, euphoric stage of the relationship has settled before you rush into a decision.

2. Are you comfortable?

Before you rush off to get your keys cut, how happy are you for your guy to see you sans slap first thing in the AM, or have him riffle through your laundry on the reg? “As a couple you need to feel comfortable together and know each other really well before you consider moving in,” explains Bernadette. “Make sure that the very early, euphoric stage of the relationship has settled before you rush into a decision. It’s best to wait until the relationship has steadied a bit.”

You and yer fella are gonna be tackling chores, bills and other responsibilities, so you need to be strong enough to take that on, and y’know, not want to kill each other in the process.

3. Is it a financial decision?

“If the main factor for living together is financial, it’s a pretty clear sign you’re not ready to move in,” says Bernadette. “You want to live with someone because you love them and you want to make a go of your life together, not because you’ll be saving money by sharing the rent. Yes, the financial aspect will likely come into your decision, but it shouldn’t be the main one”

The message? Take time to figure out why you actually want to live with your guy. Do you genuinely want to build a future with him, or just save a few bob? If the motive is mainly a monetary one, it might be best to rethink that move.

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