8 Signs You’re Settling For Less In Your Relationship
Are you only sticking around because you don't want to be alone? Here's how to tell...
Dating is like being Goldilocks: Some men are too self-centered, some are too self-sabotaging… and a few are just right. Are you with one of those few, or did you stop your search as soon as you sat down in the first chair?
Well, if it’s the latter, you’re certainly not alone because an absolutely shocking study has found that the fear of being single can make people settle in relationships they aren’t really happy in. In other words, many of us are staying in unhappy relationships because we don’t want to be alone.
Wondering if you might be one of ‘The Settlers’? Here are 8 signs that you’re not quite as invested in your relationship as you maybe should be.
1. You lie to your friends about your sex life
It can be embarrassing to admit that your love life is about as steamy as a bag of frozen peas, but if you lie to your gals about how often you guys do it, or how good it is when you do, it’s time to be honest with yourself about where this is really headed.
2. You’ve thought about how you would breakup with him
Have you had the convo in your head already? Do you know where all of your belongings are in his gaff, just in case you need to grab them quick smart? Then half of the work is already done! Finish the job so you can use that mental energy to focus on yourself.
3. You’ve got roving eye syndrome
When you go out with your girlfriends you’re still kind of scoping out the talent – not just scoping, but willing male model over there on the other side of the bar to approach you.
4. You’re secretly afraid of being alone
Deep down, you know you’re only with him because you don’t want to be alone. Plus all your friends are in relationships, so you should probably be, too… If that’s your only reason to stay with him, it’s probably time to go.
5. You’re always complaining about him
Even in the best of relationships, there will be times when venting to your buddies about him is necessary. That said, if most of your stories about him start with an annoyed sigh, do yourself and everyone you know a favor, and find someone who’s worth bragging about.
6. You have a list of ways to ‘fix’ him
Unlike in real estate, there is no such thing as a boyfriend ‘fixer upper.’ What you see is what you get. No amount of nagging or shopping for him is going to change who he is. Our advice? Stop trying to date future him, and make this guy a part of your past.
7. Your last birthdays and valentines all kind of sucked
Not every special event needs to be a home run, but if a drabby b’day was preceded by a drive-thru Valentine’s dinner, which was preceded by an anniversary spent watching him at band practice, ditch this dude and know that brighter days lie ahead.
8. You tell your self no one is happy in their relationships
It’s true that some of a new relationship’s heat cools over time, but a guy who’s really a catch will keep you happy and satisfied indefinitely. Don’t use the fact that some of your mates are also in dull relationships to justify staying in this one. Just because they’re settling doesn’t mean you have to. Find something better than your mutual dissatisfaction to bond with over. Got it?
By Jennifer Conway.
Have your say