Real Talk 16th August 2018 by Stellar Magazine

9 Irish People Told Us Their Most Embarrassing Sex Stories, And Well… They’re Pretty Gas

Fair play, all of you.

“One night, me and a guy I was seeing went back to his place. I started giving him a blowjob and the next thing I could feel something in my mouth. It was tissue. All of the top of his mickey had tissue caught in underneath the tip. VOMIT.” – Louise, 31

“Back when I was traveling, I was in and out of hostels the whole time and it was pretty commonplace for people to have sex in the dorms. I had a regular hookup in one of the hostels I was staying in long term and we were always super discreet about doing the deed… until we came back really drunk one night and started getting down to it. I thought we were being quiet enough, until I heard an awkward voice say ‘Um, sorry guys, but you’re going to have to stop or at least try to keep it down’. It was the hostel manager. Turns out we’d been making so much noise that we’d woken every one in the room up, and someone had gone down to complain. I was so embarrassed that I asked to move dorm rooms after that.” – Rosie, 33

“I hooked up with a guy one night and got my period right in the middle of things, meaning his sheets ended up covered in blood. I’d also been wearing instant tan that night so the two substances had kinda mixed together. Honestly, it didn’t look great. What’s worse is, he still lived at home so it was his mum that would be doing his laundry.” – Karina, 23

“I was furiously going at it with a guy I was seeing during college when the bed broke. I was on top about to orgasm when the bed just went from under us. We sat there in momentary shock before erupting in laughter.” – Nicole, 27

“My first time going down on a girl she farted in the middle of it. Right in my face. It took me, like, a year before I went down on someone again.” – Steve, 26

“I stayed in dorms a lot while I was traveling. I got absolutely locked one night, and I don’t know what I was thinking but I got back to the room, and decided to have a really loud wank in the shower. I propped my phone up on a ledge, started watching porn with the volume on loud and cracked one off. I guess I thought the noise of the shower would drown out the noises on my phone, but well, it didn’t. Instead I woke everyone in the room and they told me about it the next day.” – Conor, 34

“Recently I had a one night stand with a guy and in the morning we decided to do it in his shower. I’d fallen asleep in my make-up and was a tiny bit hungover but thought I looked pretty deadly none the less. I was giving it all I’d got in the shower, thinking I was the business, until I caught sight of myself in the mirror. The water had caused my make-up to run and there were two big massive lines of mascara running down my face. My hair was soaking too and I looked like a drowned rat. Honestly I could have passed for Frankenstein’s bride. Explains why he kept looking at me funny.” – Roisin, 28

“The first time I had sex with my now-ex boyfriend, I did the loudest queef of my life. We’d actually just finished having sex, I sat up and it was like all the air in my vagina just got released in one go. We both kinda just looked at each other for a sec and then pretended like nothing happened. I’m not sure a girl had ever done that in front of him before. He looked so confused.” – Ciara, 30

“An ex of mine was really into deep throat, and being honest, I’m actually pretty good at it, except for this one time. He thrust at the wrong moment, and I guess it hit my gag reflex because I vomited. Not the sexiest of moments obviously, but we did have a good laugh about it once he’d gotten cleaned up.” – Katie, 24

Got an embarrassing tale to tell? Drop us a line at info@stellar.ie with ‘Embarrassing’ in the headline.

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