How To Tell If He Really, Really Likes You. Like, Likes You Likes You
You've hooked up on Tinder, you're meeting at a bar. Now, how are you gonna work out if this isn't all a great big waste of your time, huh?
It’s the first date. You’re flirting for Ireland, laughing like cray at all his corny jokes and dropping lots of not-so-subtle hints, but yer man across the table here is more dead pan than Dirty Harry. Does he like you or not!? You wish he’d just spit it out already! But cool it, because knowing if he’s into you is all about paying attention to a few subtle signals that even he doesn’t realise he’s sending out.
“Attraction is very chemically charged,” reveals Bernadette Ryan, Psychotherapist and Relationships Therapist from Relationships Ireland, so we should look out for physical clues,” she says. So what should you be looking out for? “Check out what his eyes are up to. A lingering gaze of more than two to three seconds is when eye contact moves in to bedroom eyes territory, so give him a good old stare and check out the size of his pupils while you’re at it,” she instructs. It’s all to do with chemicals in the brain which cause pupils to expand when we see something we like the look of (Glazed doughnut anyone?) so the bigger the pupils, the more he thinks you’re one hot momma.
Of course that’s great if the guy sitting opposite is a bit of a Mr Smooth; you’ll be on the home strait in no time. What if he’s a bit nervous? “The pressure seems to be on the guy to make the first move. This can be really stressful on the poor bloke,” points out Bernadette. A more shy guy will often avoid holding a steady gaze, making it hard for you to suss out what’s going on. “Many go a bit red, smiley and tongue tied,” she adds, while a more confident man might stroke his stomach, puff out his chest or stand tall when they’ve got the hots for you. In other words, if he’s either a) been reduced to a gibbering mess or b) acting a bit macho, then it’s highly probable that he’s into you.
Confused? If you still can’t read him, then you need to pay attention to his micro expressions, because they’ll really give the game away. Split second involuntary facial expressions, they expose a person’s true feelings. A genuine smile (one that shows creases at the corners of the eyes and raises the cheeks) is an obvious sign he’s enjoying your company, whereas a slight flare of the nostrils or a subtle raise on one corner of the mouth suggests he might be feeling a bit er, bored.
That said, attraction isn’t all about physical clues. Bernadette suggests that it’s a guy’s actions post-date that are the strongest indicator of how much he likes you. If he’s making the effort to spend time with you, replying to your texts with lightening speed and expressing a genuine interest in who you are, then delete your Tinder account girlfriend, because chances are, he’s just that into you.