Love & Sex 2nd December 2020 by Denise Curtin

How To Be Intimate With Your Partner Over Video Call For The First Time

What to do, how to do it and why you should take it at your own pace.

If quarantine has you exploring new avenues for the first time then, my friend, join the club.

As we’ve been faced with this new normal that has many of us away from our loved ones and friends, we’ve found ourselves dipping a foot into unfamiliar territory that spans from our work life to our sex life.

From learning how to use Zoom – the nation’s new favourite app, to setting up a beauty salon in our bathroom and getting kinky with the camera, we’re certainly in a time of great change. But change is good, even at times when it’s least predicted or invited.

If you’ve found yourself isolating away from your partner, change in your relationship is definitely something you’ve noticed. A relationship where you once hung out all the time has now turned long distance and so, ways in which you can get intimate have to change too.

Cue the camera.

Looking down the lens of your laptop camera for the first time? Wondering how to even begin getting intimate over Skype, Houseparty, you name it, then read on.

Firstly, it’s important to note that you can and should take things at your own pace. Nobody expects you to put on a show fit for Babestation. The beauty with getting intimate over camera is that you decide and define exactly what getting intimate over video chat is. Spoiler alert – there’s no one right answer.

The first thing you can do, however, to help you get in the mood is to clean your room and light some candles. Next step, mess around with the lighting and check how it looks on camera – can you be seen clearly? Different angles suit different folks and so, make sure you feel comfortable with how the screen is sitting. And lastly, wear something that makes you feel sexy, happy, empowered.

Bought some new knicks? Now is the time to whip them out.

Then comes to fun part, the main event.

Devika Singh, a tantric sex and relationship coach spoke to Refinery29 explaining that if you’re feeling a little shy at the beginning, not to worry – this is totally normal. Instead, why not warm up with your partner by playing a sex game. Something simple she suggests like Adult Truth Or Dare or Choose Your Pleasure, where you command what your partner does and vice-versa.

Like any type of sexual interaction, communication is important here too. Tell each other what you want to see, how you feel or even turn it up a notch and explain what you can’t wait to do to them once you see them next.

Similar to sex, don’t be afraid to introduce some dirty talk and heavy breathing, have fun with it though, remember you control how this interaction goes and there’s no “one shoe fits all” result.

As the chat progresses, make sure it’s satisfying both of you. Again, this is where communication is key. You want to make sure you’re both enjoying the experience and learning from each other on how you can make it better.

With each call you can introduce new experiences – role playing, sex toys, foreplay with dirty texts, the options are endless and it’ll keep you both coming back for more and more, trust us.

What’s even better, once social distancing regulations lift and you can see your partner IRL again, it will reignite your sex life to a whole new level.

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