Is It Just Me Or Are People Moving Mad On Dating Apps These Days?

Photo by cottonbro studio / Pexels

Have you been on Tinder lately?

Have you frequented Bumble? Wandered through Hinge?

If you’re single, you probably have – and you may have noticed that people aren’t wasting any time.

Are you free for a pint tomorrow? Any interest in leaving your party and meeting me and my friends for a drink now? Do you want to get married right this second?

Such are the conversations in my dating apps these days. Gone are the days of sussing someone out for an extended period of time before meeting, and getting the feel of a person before agreeing to spend an evening with them.

Now, people are moving mad. But why?

Our Gen-Z friends are engaging in something called ‘date stacking’ – an activity where they plan multiple dates across one day, each a few hours each in length, and blast through them all, no questions asked.

A means of speeding up the dating process and seemingly finding ‘The One’ a lot faster than us mere mortals who couldn’t stomach the thought of having to make small talk with 2+ people in one night, date stacking has taken off on TikTok, with many singletons documenting their many meet ups, and whether they’ve been successful or not.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels

These days, people also talk about the pandemic skip; the two or so years that were lost to coronavirus, social distancing, and generally not being able to do a whole lot. While some people entered into relationships (and many others ended them), the love lives of lots of others remained stagnant.

It would make sense then that once we said a tentative goodbye to Covid that people decided they were done wasting their time. If they liked someone, they were going to go for it. If they wanted to go for a drink, they were going to make it happen. If they felt a vibe, they were going to let them know.

Years ago, I’d chat to someone for at least a week before we made plans to meet up, if we did at all. The messaging would be near-to constant. I’d find out about their first heartbreak before we’d even met. I’d know the name of their grandparents before I even know what their voice sounded like.

Nowadays, I’ll be four brief messages in before my company is requested for a pint. I’ll be taken aback, shocked, unprepared for the suddenness of the ask. Flattered sure, but mostly unavailable. I’m a woman. I have lots of things on. I need at least two weeks heads up before I can commit to any kind of after-work event.

Maybe it’s Covid. Maybe it’s getting older. Maybe it’s just me. 

Either way, dating as a perpetually single millennial has changed, and I can’t tell whether I’m into it or not.

• Dating