Love & Sex 28th April 2023 by Jade Hayden
Meghan Trainor Was Open About Vaginismus, & She Deserves Better Than The Response She Got
There are plenty of gripes that come with being a woman in the public eye.
People make comments about your appearance, people act as if your life decisions affect their own, and people decide to congratulate your husband when you say that sex is incredibly painful.
Yep, this is the unfortunate world that we live in, as singer Meghan Trainor has recently opened up about living with vaginismus, and instead of receiving empathy and understanding, she has largely been met with a plethora of people who are enthralled by the size of her husband’s penis.
Speaking on Trisha Paytas’ Workin’ On It podcast this week, the star said: “I have pussy anxiety […] to the point where I’m like, ‘Is it all in?’ and he’s like, ‘Just the tip.’
“As he would penetrate, I would be like, ‘Ow, ow, ow,’ to the point when I was making this baby, I had to ice myself after.”
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Meghan added that she often couldn’t walk after sex, adding: “I wish I could make Daryl smaller. It’s painful, dude.
“I was told I have something called vaginismus. I thought that every woman walking around was always in pain during and after sex. I was like, ‘Doc, are you telling me that I could have sex and not feel a single bit of pain?’”
Vaginismus is a psychosexual condition that causes the muscles of the vagina to involuntary contract upon attempted penetration. Those living with the condition report penetrative sex to be incredible painful, and sometimes even impossible.
The health issue has long been a hidden one among women, as many struggle with feelings of shame and isolation – so naturally, a celebrity as well known as Meghan being open about her experience is huge progress for the community.
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What isn’t, however, is the response that her openness elicited. Where some praised the singer for her honesty and encouraged a more transparent conversation about painful sex, many (including prominent news outlets) chose to focus on her husband – and most notably, the size of his penis.
“Good for him,” said one person on Twitter, while another made a lazy Spy Kids gag about Daryl being unable to find Meghan’s vagina (he was in Spy Kids, for context, not that it makes the joke funny, at all).
Ironically, as anybody with vaginismus will know, the size of a penis has very little to do with whether penetration is possible or not. While some women living with the condition can achieve penetration during sex, many can’t even use tampons.
Meghan may have approached the topic with humour (and hey, who among us wouldn’t?), but is a clap on the back for her husband, a misguided focus on his penis size, and a ream of hurtful tweets really the best we can do here?
Let’s just hope that the conversation can shift to a more nuanced one soon, rather than one that reduces the female sexual experience to the butt of the joke.
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