Real Girl Resolutions: Here’s How To Make Ones You’ll Actually Stick To This Year

If you’re anything like us, your new-year notebook (ours is Ban.Do, natch) will contain – among other things – a list of goals for the year ahead. And, if you’re anything like us, that list will look frighteningly familiar. Let’s take our 2015 list, shall we? Save money – always. Lose weight. Stop buying clothes we don’t wear. If we look back to 2014? Lose 10lbs. Pay off loan. NO. MORE. SHOES.

Hmm. It’s time for a change, don’t you think? Instead of starting 2017 in the spirit of deprivation and frugality – less squandering, less eating, less lounging around – we’ve come up with a host of New Year’s Resolutions you’ll actually want to keep. Why’s that? Because they’re super positive, highly attainable and, ultimately, life-improving goals that are guaranteed to make 2017 your best year yet.

Treat yourself

We’re not talking about buying a new handbag every month (although that would be kind of nice), but taking time each week for yourself. And don’t get us wrong; me-time doesn’t have to mean meditation and candles burning. Nor is it always about retail therapy – whether that’s taking a bath, sitting on the couch and reading your book for an hour or going for a solo cinema date, just make sure you’re doing something you really enjoy.

Learn to apologise

If you haven’t already got on board with apologising, girl, you are wasting a whole lot of time. Once you get used to it, sorry is actually the easiest word to say – and can save a whole lot of hurt in the long run. In arguments with our BFFs (where we know we’re right), we like to think of “I’m sorry” as “I’m sorry that we’re wasting our time fighting when we could be having a way better time.” There’s no glory in winning all the time – but there is glory in swallowing your pride and apologising to the ones you love. Plus, think of the karma.

…But stop saying sorry

When it’s unnecessary, that is. Is someone in your way? Then they should be sorry – you can just say “excuse me.” Walking into your boss’ office with a work query? Well, you’re most definitely not sorry then, either. How about trying a, “have you got a second?” So someone bumped into you on the Luas – why are you the sorry one? It’s a very female thing to apologise for our existence – and team STELLAR is trying to stamp that out. You should give it a go too; you’ll probably enjoy it.

Let it go

We know, we know, how very Disney circa 2013 of us – but why not take this brand new year to let go of old grudges? The only person you’re hurting by hating on that girl who bullied you in secondary school / guy who mercilessly dumped you / shopkeeper who accused you of stealing, is you. Do an Arya Stark on it: write down the name of every single person who’s wronged you, then tear it up and start afresh.

Give compliments

Did you know that we all receive the majority of our life’s compliments before the age of two? That means we won’t even remember some of the best ones. So, next time you think, “wow, that person’s hair / jacket / personality is brilliant,” why not tell ’em? The world would be a better place if we all gave more props to our peeps.

Stop lying

We blame politeness, but we can’t count on both hands the number of times we’ve lied to our bessie mates. That Friday night we were too tired after work to go out for drinks and ‘got a migraine’; that birthday party we were meant to go to but ended up crying our heads off in the office toilet at 5pm and couldn’t face other humans; or the group brunch with 20 women we went to school with, that we’re not sure why we agreed to but then couldn’t make because ‘the car broke down.’ You’re a grown-ass woman, and if you don’t want to do something, you don’t need to make an excuse. Respect your friends enough to tell them the truth – they’ll respect you right back for it.

Give yourself a break

Have you fallen off the fitness bandwagon? Slipped up on your menu planning and ordered a takeaway two nights in a row? Let your BFF grind your gears – in the way only she can – when you know you should’ve kept your cool? The best thing you can give yourself is forgiveness. We all mess up sometimes – recognising that, picking yourself up and dusting yourself off will allow you a fresh start with no guilt, and no remorse. Because you’re worth it.

Stop the negative backchat

We all do it: “I’m not good enough,” “I could have done that better.” Guess what: you are good enough – in fact you’re pretty damn deadly, sister. Here’s the weird thing about negative thinking – it doesn’t allow any room for positivity, so you have to force yourself to exercise that affirmative muscle. The good news? Like a workout, it gets easier the more you do it. Go for it!

Psst! This article first appeared in STELLAR’s January 2016 issue. Our January/February issue is on shelves now!

• Life Hacks
• New Year
• Resolutions