The Sex Files: ‘I Did The Walk Of Shame Dressed As A Sexy Cat’

Memories of the best (and worst) rides of your life.

“I was never one for Halloween, and never liked going out on the night of, either. But after a bad sort-of-breakup with a guy I was seeing, my girl friends thought it would be a great idea to head out and have fun to try and forget all about him. So with little planning, and lots of leopard print in my closet, I decided to go as a half-arsed cat. I had one of those headbands that were hugely popular a few years ago, with the triangular gold cat ears attached – a very Mean Girls effort if I do say so: ‘I’m a cat, duh’.

I opted for a peplum leopard print dress (peplum everything was also all the rage a few years ago!) leopard print heels, the hairband and some eyeliner as a nose and whiskers type idea. We headed to town where we made the most of the green shots that were on offer for Halloween for about €3. My friends, dressed as a devil and a witch (we weren’t very original) quickly found nice boys to hook up with and I was left sipping a drink in the corner. After midnight I decided to sneak out and get a taxi home on my own but couldn’t manage to flag one down as it was so busy. I started to walk a little further down the street to try and get one when I ended up chatting to a group of guys and girls who were around my age walking in the same direction. They were really nice, and one guy in particular, who’s name I think was James, was incredibly cute.

He had black hair and dimples and a soft Derry accent, which I always adored. We got chatting and he invited me to a party at their house. I wouldn’t usually feel safe accepting such an offer, but because it was such a big mixed group, and we all went to the same college, I figured it might be fun. We had a few drinks back at the house with the gang and James and I drunkenly flirted on the couch before deciding we’d better move it to the bedroom.

I had never, ever had a one night stand before, and had never gotten into bed with someone I hadn’t even kissed yet, so I was buzzing with excitement and nerves. We flirted and kissed for a while before we got down to business. It started off okay, with him on top, kissing my neck, but he really struggled to keep it up, literally. He muttered something about whiskey dick and awkwardly rolled over before falling asleep. I guess he was drunker than I thought.

So I lay there for an hour or so, awkwardly wondering what I should do, before dozing off. Suddenly at about 5.30am I woke up and got the notion to just leg it, because I figured neither of us wanted the embarrassing small talk in the morning, especially when we didn’t really even have sex. So I legged it! I ran out the door, completely forgetting that some people actually get up as early as 5.30am for work. I walked along the road trying to get a taxi while bin men and commuters had a little giggle at the girl in the leopard dress with eyeliner all over her face and heels in her hand. While it was far from a wild night of fun, I definitely looked like a wild animal and it’s certainly a Halloween that I will remember forever. More walk of shame than stride of pride, but look, it was an experience.”

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