Warning: NSFW content!
Every month, an anonymous STELLAR reader divulges their memories of the best (and sometimes worst) ride of their lives.
“Relationships have always been a bit of a mindf*ck for me and I’ll be honest, I’ve had a pretty rubbish time in most of them. I’ve had my heart broken, been cheated on, suffered more than my fair share of rejection and been hurt many, many times, so when I met my now fiancé Ryan, I had a lot of anxiety about our relationship and overthought pretty much everything. I’d freak out over the smallest things because on some level I was just waiting for this relationship to be like all of the others before it: a temporary fixation that would end with me having my heart broken. It didn’t matter that Ryan was lovely and the most devoted partner I’d ever had, I still feared things going wrong.
It was one of those mornings when I was feeling at my most insecure. Ryan and I were lying in bed next to each other and I was getting increasingly caught up in my own head, worrying about silly things like what it meant that he hadn’t held my hand all the way on last night’s walk home or why he’d fallen asleep before saying goodnight.
I broached it with him, trying hard to keep the accusatory tone out of my voice but failing miserably. Before long, we were raising our voices and getting increasingly irate. Then it all came tumbling out of me, how I’d been hurt so much before and was petrified of it happening again and how as much as I knew what we had was something really special, a big part of me was waiting to get hurt all over again.
“Big heaving sobs punctuated my words and then Ryan did something I wasn’t expecting. He pulled my body into him, kissed me deeply and told me he loved me.
I kissed him back, my face still wet from tears, and suddenly I felt overcome with emotion and passion for him. By the way he was kissing me and running his hands over my body I knew he felt the same way too.
We wasted no time. I pulled off his clothes and he pulled off mine. He teased me with his hands and kissed all over my neck and chest. There was an urgency about it. I don’t know if it was the heat of the moment or that we’d just suddenly realised how much we meant to each other but we had to have each other right there and then. I climbed on top of him and took control. It was quick and passionate and full of emotion, yet tender, and it was only moments later that I was moaning in pleasure as I climaxed. We cuddled afterwards and he gently kissed my tear-stained cheeks and held my hand in his.
I really feel like that fight – and the sex after it – was the starting point of something. I think it’s the point when I finally started to let those old wounds begin to heal and it was Ryan who helped me. It brought a new chemistry into our sex lives too. That emotional connection we have is what makes things so hot between us and we always have our best sex when we’ve spent real, quality time together.
I’ve found that often, it’s when you let yourself be vulnerable that the magic happens.
Relationships can bring out a whole range of complex emotions, but it just takes the right person to stick around and help you work through it. The sex just makes things fun along the way.”