5 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You

Chances are, if you're reading this, you've been sensing the warning signs – here are our top five reasons to get the hell outta dodge.

River Island high summer

Lisa had spent the whole year getting that bikini bod – then he announced he was off to Ibiza with the lads #rage

1. He’s read your text… and he’s just not writing back

You might imagine he’s playing all the games in the world, but a man who reads your Whatsapp, asking him to go for a drink (or another semi-urgent question) and ignores it, yet stays online FOR AGES, is a man who’s simply not feelin’ it. (As a semi aside, we recommend setting your Whatsapp privacy on high, so no one sees when you’re online – cos then you can’t see when anyone else is online, thus curbing your stalking tendencies. Win-win!)

2. You’ve never met his friends

You’ve been dating for a couple of months and having the Best! Ever! Time! But you’ve yet to lay your eyes on a single one of these mates he’s always wittering on about, for reasons that he makes sound very reasonable indeed. “We kind of do lads’ things together.” “No other girlfriends are coming.” “It’s just gonna be the core group.” If he’s mad about you, he’ll want his mates to be mad about you, too.

3. He won’t make any long- (or even medium-)term plans

Whatever about the cinema on Friday, once it gets into fortnight-away territory, he’s running scared. “Let’s just deal with that nearer the time,” he says, when you ask if he fancies getting tickets for a gig that’s a month away. If he can’t deal with imagining the two of you together in a month, chances are, he’s not thinking about you as an even vaguely serious prospect. Walk away.

4. He’s making plans – and you’re not in them

He baulks at the idea of long-term gig planning with you, but sit him in front of a globe and he’s all about the places he wants to go and the things he wants to see. When he’s finished his contract at work, he’s thinking about going to Asia; and that month he’s booked off in August? That’s all about South America, baby. The rub? You don’t figure in any of his holiday scheduling.

5. He never stays the night

We’re talking wham, bam, “chat to you tomorrow” and a peck on the cheek as he legs it out the door. We know, we know – he has work in the morning; he has to iron his shirt; it’s just not that easy to bring his suit all the way up to your house. But if he doesn’t ever want to fall asleep with you snoring loudly into his chest, it’s not a good sign. Soz, bbz.

Pic credit: River Island