Real Talk 15th September 2023 by Lorna Gilligan
What Is The ‘SATC’ Taxi Light Theory? And Could It Be Why You’re Still Single?
We love a love theory!
Dating in 2023 is a little different to how it was back in the 2000s for our Sex and the City fabulous four. Now we swipe, pre-judge and even use the dry hinge prompts to try to get even a sliver of entertainment out of our downright sad dating lives.
We’ve entered a grass is always greener mentality when it comes to dating and it is doing none of us any favours. When you’ve the pick of the litter it becomes increasingly harder to look at someone objectively and give them a chance. In the end we reach a word no one dares mention – settling.
Do we settle for someone or do we continue on the march to find our perfect guy to settle down with? It’s like we’ve reached the conclusion that the settling and settling down, are one and the same, and that is absolutely not the case as Miranda Hobbs, SATC resident lawyer points out with the iconic taxi light theory.
What is the taxi light theory?
The taxi light theory focuses around commitment or the lack thereof we are faced with when it comes to dating. The number one takeaway? – timing. Timing is everything. It essentially stems from the idea that commitment and compatibility do not work together. It’s not about finding the perfect partner, it’s about finding someone who’s ready for a life commitment.
The taxi light theory first came up thanks to a powerful moment from Miranda Hobbs in the iconic show, Sex and the City. In the episode love sick Charlotte swoons over her new man Trey, who she believes is ‘the one’ a short two weeks into the relationship. She says: “Sometimes you just know, it’s like magic, it’s fate.”
Miranda then introduces us to the taxi light theory in the most Miranda way possible. She replies: “It’s not fate, his light is on—that’s all. Men are like cabs; when they’re available, their light goes on. They wake up one day and decide they’re ready to settle down, have babies, (whatever), and they turn their light on. [The] next woman they pickup, boom! That’s the one they’ll marry. It’s not fate, it’s dumb luck.”
It actually links quite well to dating today as a millennial/Gen-Z. We’ve all jumped on the dating app scene at least once in the last 10 years. Whether it’s Tinder, Hinge or even Bumble chances are it’s been used by the girlies searching for their soulmate. We’re attracted to the infinite possibility of potential suitors at the swipe of our hand.
You can’t deny, at least we can’t, that the apps begin to lose their appeal after a few years of doom scrolling leading to nothing but swiping left and right out of pure and utter boredom, rather than swiping for people you’ve actually got an interest in getting to know.
Is it why you’re still single?
While Miranda was quite extreme with her outlook on men and their dating mannerisms, in the current dating climate, you have to wonder if she was onto something. Everything is done over apps or online today, and if you do meet someone in person first, well let’s be real, you’re a bit of an anomaly. While having an abundance of options in front of you to flick through might seem great, it has made us very superficial people.
Instead of spending a date or two getting to know someone and then deciding whether they’re a dud; we spend 0.5 seconds looking at a picture, where half the time you can’t even tell which of the five in the picture is the one you’re meant to be looking at. It becomes a game, swiping left and occasionally right just for some giggles, hoping your Prince Charming just magically pops up on screen.
It’s this lack of willingness to speak to someone who may not have the exact same interests or may not look a specific way that is keeping us from potential suitors who would in the long term probably make for better partners – opposites do attract after all.
Whip out the taxi light theory and don’t settle for what you think you want. Go on dates, meet different people, step out of your comfort zone and maybe you might just find the one for you.