"It has become so important for people to be able to feel their feelings and not feel guilty."
Whitney Port has opened up about suffering from a miscarriage just two weeks ago.
The Hills star took to her YouTube show and podcast With Whit to talk about the confusing, and perhaps taboo subject of being okay with it.
She teamed up with her husband Timothy for a very heartbreaking, very real chat about loss.
Taking to Instagram to share the news, she said: “The amount of various emotions I felt in the past couple weeks have been extreme…from shock to sadness to relief, which then led to guilt for feeling that relief.”
She added: “My identity has been shaken in regards to who as a mom and human being. I’m currently in the process of learning to accept that my feelings are valid no matter what they are. Whether or not people feel the same way as me or not.”
She explained the importance of talking about trauma. “They are my personal emotions that are the result from my own journey. The video above is a glimpse into the story and coming to terms with how I feel. I welcome anyone to share their stories or feelings. I want my platform to be an open place where we can share difficult conversations.”
She stressed that she knows that everyone won’t have the same feelings about the incident as her.
She welcomed her first child with husband Tim in 2017, and while she was excited for Sonny to have a sibling, she admitted that she wasn’t sure about having a second baby, and that the pregnancy scared her.
“I felt scared of all the sacrifices of what I was going to have to go through again to have this child and be a mom. But I was also scared to even admit that I was scared.
“I felt extremely ashamed and guilty that I felt this way. Which makes it so hard to talk about it.”
Sadly, Whitney suffered a miscarriage a few weeks later, and two weeks on, she’s talking about how she’s been processing it.
“We would have had the baby and it would have been amazing and I wouldn’t have regretted it but I didn’t have control over this situation,” she said.
When asked by her husband how she felt about losing the child, she tearfully opened up.
“I feel so bad saying this… like, I honestly feel like a complete monster, but when I found out that the pregnancy was possibly not viable I thought to myself, ‘Maybe this is sort of a relief.’ I am so grateful for my life, but I felt professional like I was in one of the busiest times of my life, and I did feel that the timing was really terrible to be pregnant. So there was part of me when we were in limbo that was like, ‘If this isn’t going to happen then I think I’m OK with it.'”
She added that she didn’t want to tell her husband she felt this way initially.
There is a lot to take from Whitney and Tim’s conversation. It’s important to highlight that not all women want to be pregnant and that this is okay. It’s also important to note that, as Whitney said, there are many women who won’t relate to her feelings and her story, but for the people that will, her honestly will be a huge help.
Reflecting on the whole ordeal, she continued by saying: “I can’t say I feel relieved now. I feel sad. The whole thing is traumatic, it’s traumatic to think about your body going through this and something being in you that could have been something, like a Sonny. I feel sad, but I do also feel happy that my body is still my own right now and this isn’t an extra thing we have to plan for. We have consciously decided to have these types of conversations [publicly] because it has become so important for people to be able to feel their feelings and not feel guilty. I feel I have a responsibility so you guys don’t feel alone, and how I felt in my head when it was happening.”
You can check out the full video below: