My STELLAR Slimming World Diary: Week Two

It’s a truth that should be universally acknowledged: the second time doing anything, no matter how difficult, is always easier than the first. This has proven to be true of Bikram yoga, bicycle riding (would you believe I actually forgot how to ride a bike and had to be re-taught at the age of 20, proving that some well-known phrases are simply untrue) and Slimming World.

I’d love to say that I was really motivated by the tales of success and weight loss I’d heard at that week’s class, but in reality I was spurred on by jealousy and the competitive spirit that rarely makes an appearance. Remember that girl who lost 9.5lbs in one week? I wanted to be her.

So I set about reading – and re-reading, and re-reading – the book; I stocked up on a load of healthy (or at least semi-healthy) stuff; and I decided that this week, week two, I was going to be as diligent as hell about this Slimming World malarkey.

My food diary, in which I drew myself (narcissist much?) and clearly felt no emotions on Monday.

Things I learned this week:

• Superquinn sausages are 4.5 syns each. With a daily allowance of 15, that’s pretty effing high – and to be honest I’m not sure they’re worth it.
• Slender Choice sausages are syn-free! It’s cos they’re made with pure lean pork and hardly anything else. It does mean they’re not quite as juicy and fat-relatedly delicious as traditional saussies, but I’ll take the hit if it means I can keep my syns for, er, chia seeds.
• Chia seeds have syns in them. Not a lot, but once again my dreams of becoming Deliciously Ella have been foiled by Slimming World.
• Mozzarella can be counted as a Healthy Extra A! This is amazing news. If I have no other dairy products in a day, I can throw a ball of mozzarella in a salad. Delicious and synless!
• 25g of Parmesan (5 syns) is not a lot, and to be honest I’d rather have half a bar of that delicious sweet-n-salty Cadbury’s Ritz cracker. (Who am I kidding, I have never in my life eaten half a chocolate bar! But the principle still stands.)
• Glenisk strained Greek-style low-fat yoghurts are so delicious, and only half a syn! Half. So essentially you could eat 30 in a day. (I did not do that.)
• You really can eat as much pasta as you like (so long as you have 1/3 speed – leafy green vegetables, watery fruit etc – with your meal).
• Eating whole melons drastically increases your need to pee.

So, given that I was a paragon of virtue, how did I get on?

Okay, so I’ll lay it on the table: I was convinced that I would lose loads of weight. I had been so good! I’d stuck rigidly to the plan, exceeding my syns once (when I had half an avocado and two Superquinn sausages on the same day because I’m a glutton) and had drunk approx 17 litres of water a day, eaten more bananas than I care to think of (instead of chocolates) and had also managed to stay away from my fave gluten-free brownies from the cafe by the office.

And I lost 5lbs. Five whole pounds! That’s the equivalent of a really small baby (I have no idea why I think of weight in terms of babies except that this comparison makes me feel very thin and smug), or five packets of Kerrygold.

Not only did I lose 5lbs, I got the award for Slimmer of the Week – which means I got a sticker to place smugly on my book, along with a bag of fruit (each member brings a piece to donate to the winner).

The ultimate result of all of this smug, of course, is that I feel even more motivated to have a killer week three – and now that I’m down 5.5lbs, it’s a mere 1.5lbs until I’ve lost half a stone and can brag to all and sundry about that. (I apologise profusely to the friends and family who have to put up with me throughout this ordeal.)

If you have any questions about how I got to be such a good Slimming World member in such a short space of time, please leave ’em below! (You can also prepare yourselves for the inevitable red-facedness when I put on weight in about two weeks’ time.)

• diet
• Slimming World
• weight
• weight loss
• wellness