4 Times Gwyneth Paltrow Suggested We Do Completely Bonkers Things

From leaning into yawning to how she’s just a regular working mom like every other working mom, we kinda love Gwyneth Paltrow and her on-the-reg klangers. Goop makes us gulp, so we’ve out together four of the things that Gywn has said that have had made us chuckle the most.

1. How to break up with someone

Listen, listen, listen. No way would Gwyneth ghost someone. Nope, that is an unconscionably awful thing to do (well, it is). Instead, she brought the world the idea of conscious uncoupling when herself and Chris Martin split, posting on Goop.com, explaining the decision.

“We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much, we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.”

We were morto with second hand shame for the pair of them at the time, but it seems to have worked out alright – and she put a lot of thought into doing something that can be very painful, so fair play.

2. How to wash our vajajays

Apparently Dove Body Wash and a puff from The Body Shop is not good enough, girlfriend. Nope, you’ve gotta steam clean that mother for it to be truly sparklin’. “The real golden ticket here is the Mugwort V-Steam. You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al,” Gwyneth gushed in Goop, about her fave downstairs cleaning procedure, which she partakes of at an LA spa.

But, while she may be a fan of having her nethers lightly cooked, others aren’t convinced. It’s not such a great idea to upset the delicate balance happening in your lady garden – everything down there is calibrated juuust right, and knocking it off kilter could lead to nasties like thrush.

3. How to stop eating

She’s no stranger to a cleanse or five, is Gwyneth, and if you’re in need of an increasingly far-out way to deprive yourself, then look no further than her festive season pre-tox. “This is not a full detox, and it’s not difficult,” she reassures. “You also don’t need to buy anything special. It’s just a way to eat a little bit cleaner and more mindfully, while giving the wine bottle a bit of time off,” she adds.

So you’ll simply need to stock up on some easy-to-find-at-your-local-Centra ingredients to make dishes like chai gingerbread shake, coconut poached salmon, and balsamic miso root salad. No hassle!

4. And yes… How to yawn

“The other night at a dinner with Michael Lear, a wonderful yogi and important quarterback for mindfulness and meditation in this country, he caught, out of the corner of his very alert eye, the suppression of a yawn,” writes Gwyneth. Apparently it’s incorrect to suppress your yawns; instead you have to, ahem, lean into them.

“Gently tilt your head back to a comfortable position and allow your mouth to hang open widely while you gently extend into it,” is one piece of advice, followed by, “Contract the back of the throat as if to perform Ujjayi breathing—a whispery breath.” What? No. Feck off, Gwyneth. Also, every time anyone says yogi, we immediately think of Yogi Bear. Just us?

Tags:

• Goop.com
• Gwyneth Paltrow