When your boo has children there are schedules, babysitters, school emergencies, and worst of all baby mama drama, so we asked an expert how to deal.
Dating a man with kids can be complicated, especially if you don’t have the first clue about babies and can’t figure out where exactly you’re meant to fit into their lives. Scheduling time alone with your SO, getting along with his niños and learning not to offer parenting advice can be a constant struggle, so we enlisted the help of relationship expert Tony Moore to get some advice on dealing with this tricky relationship sitch.
Always. All potential exciting plans can and will be canceled in a 10-minute span if baby is sick or the other parent can’t take them. Tony advises being fair and respectful. “Be kind, because the kids have had and are still having a tough time,” he says. Bottom line, if you’re dating someone who doesn’t put their child first, then you should not be dating them in the first place, plain and simple. Soz.
You may have different ideas on parenting than your man but unless he asks for your advice, try to zip it. He and his ex are responsible for raising their little one and you could cause friction if you tell them how to parent. Until you are involved in the day-to-day raising of his children, you gotta keep your advice to yourself. Got it?
When kids are involved, you never know when an emergency will arise, so you can’t always expect plans to go perfectly. Kids get sick, babysitters aren’t always available or school projects are suddenly due tomorrow and daddy has to step in, Tony warns.
There will be photos, shared mates, and a lingering reminder that they were once a happy couple. Get used to it and keep your jealousy intact. It didn’t work out for a reason and green-eyed behaviour won’t make things any better. “Remember, it’s for their child,” instructs Tony. “Accept it and be confident in YOUR relationship.”
Chances are if your fella is a parent and he’s introducing you to his kids, he’s thinking of you as a potential long-term spouse. Tony suggests giving yourself time to get to know the children and extended family and give them time to get to know you. “Become a true friend to them,” he advises, “but don’t promise anything you can’t deliver.”
By Jennifer Conway.