Love & Sex 30th November 2018 by Cara Croke
51% Of People Have NEVER Told Their Mates They Love Them – WTF?
They've clearly never been drunk in a women's bathroom at 2AM
When was the last time you said “I love you” to someone that wasn’t a romantic partner? One would assume that most people are open with their affection, and that those three little words are said multiple times a day to a number of people in your life, especially to your parents. Despite this, a research conducted by flower experts Interflora showed some pretty surprising facts about how often people say “I love you”, and it it’s kind of sad.
The study revealed that over half of British people (51%) have never told their best friend they love them. This statistic makes me feel like I tell my best friend I love her too much. It’s a habit to tell her I love her whenever I hang up the phone.
A statistic even more surprising – 32% have never told their dad they love them, and a quarter (25%) have never said the words to their mam. Who doesn’t tell their mammies they love them?!
If you’re thinking “well I’m just not a very affectionate person” – well maybe you should be, because leading psychologist Dr Becky Spelman says failing to say “I love you” to our family and friends could have long term damaging effects on our relationships.
“While people often find it very difficult to articulate their feelings of love for one another, failing to express these feelings can be very damaging to the relationship. We might think that our feelings are obvious, but they may not be at all clear to our loved one.
“When we don’t tell them that we love them, this can give rise to terrible feelings of insecurity in the other person – whether it’s a family member or close friend.”
So we may know that telling others we love them is good for their security and happiness, but it’s also good for the person doing the loving.
“When we express or receive love, our bodies secrete the hormones oxytocin and serotonin,” Dr Becky explains. “This has the overall effect of making us feel happier, more content, and more secure in our relationship.”
If you struggle to express yourself through words, fear not, Dr Becky has a few tips to get the emotional balls rolling.
“Using gestures can be just as effective. Obviously, we can tell people we love them with words—in fact, it is very important that we do so—but we can also accompany our words with little gifts that make them all the more meaningful.
“Not just human beings but also other animal species often bring their loved ones something that they consider beautiful to show how much they care.”
With Christmas time approaching, it’s a great time to start showing your emotions and being thankful for your friends and family. So try not to be so cagey this winter and spread some love.