6 Questions We Need Answered About Blowjobs

The art of the blowjob isn’t easy to master. An act loved by men all over since what we can only assume is the beginning of time, there’s a lot more to it than what seems obvious.

We as women don’t have it easy, and a lot of thoughts circle the brain while doing the deed. Will he like this? Is this too weird? Am I breathing psychotically through my nose? Although the men in our lives are lucky divils to be on the receiving end of oral sex in the first place, I think we can all agree that if we’re going to do it, we would like to do it right.

While on the topic of good old oral, here are some questions the gals at STELLAR HQ have about the art of a decent blowjob.

Am I a disgusting animal if I spit on your penis?

If we know anything about blowjobs it’s the wetter the better. Unless you have a bit of a pain fetish, it’s commonly agreed that dry friction on a penis is just a no-go. If you don’t have your shit together enough to constantly have lube at the ready, your own saliva is the only thing that’s going to get the job (lol) done. Despite this, I can’t be the only person who thinks spitting all over a man’s penis is the most violent action ever. We’ll do it anyway, but we’d struggle to look ourselves in the eyes after.

Should the balls be left untouched?

This may be a question that’s answer is subjective to every individual fella, but what does one do with a male’s testicles? They’re just sitting there during the process and it feels honestly rude to neglect. Ball fondling is a tricky game, they’re super sensitive and one wrong flick of an acrylic nail can inflict unholy levels of pain on your man friend. Ball touching, yay or nay?

Hands or no hands?

We know that a blowjob is primarily a mouth function, but what’s the consensus on some hand action? From past experience we can conclude that the use of hands assists in the run up to the big finish for lads, but the task of finding the perfect mouth to hand rhythm can prove difficult. Should we stick to what we know or start spicing things up with a hand-shandy throughout?

Does eye contact make you uncomfortable?

You’ll have seen it in porn, the girl is making intense eye contact while getting down to the oral business and the boy seems to be loving it. But, as we all should very well know, porn is not real life and it is unrealistic to assume your bloke will like all the same things (or you’ll like doing them). The concept of eye contact during a blowjob makes us squirm a little bit – we can’t help but not feel our most attractive in that position, and chances are our eyes are watering if we’re really going hell for leather. So do they want us to stare into their souls or not?

Spit or swallow?

This has been a big debate circulating the STELLAR office. Does the idea of swallowing make you gag, or do you think it’s easier and quicker to just down the hatch? It seems to be a general consensus that men like the idea of a woman swallowing, but we can all agree that if he makes you feel a certain way about whichever route you decide, let that man go.

Should we go in for the shift after?

Does the thought of a girl going in for the shift with a big penis tasting mouth make boys feel nauseous? Unless you personally want to, going and washing out your mouth straight after a back breaking blowjob seems less than romantic. Personally, I think giving you a smooch after you’ve given them such a wonderful gift is the least they can do, right gals?

If anyone has all of the answers please get in touch thanks.

• Sex