Can Long Distance Ever Work? Our Readers Weigh In With Their Real Life Stories

Long distance relationships (or LDRs, as they’re sometimes known) are commonly thought to be a bit of a bad idea, especially if the separation has no finite end date. And sure, there are exceptions to the rule, but do you really want to bank on being an exception, in the face of a hazy future filled with Skype calls, Snapchats and expensive plane tickets? Our readers weigh in on what going long distance has meant for them.

Emer, 26

We broke up over a heart-wrenching video call.

Looking back, doing long distance was the biggest mistake of my life. Last year I fell in love with someone who I thought was a wonderful guy. He was working in Dublin and was originally from Italy. We met at my local gym and everything was going great, until after a few months, when he moved back home to study.

We began an LDR, without hesitation. Blinded by love, I would literally live for those moments when I could video call him. But three months into the long distance loveliness, I received a private Facebook mail from a girl from his hometown saying she had slept with him. She’d realised he was already spoken for when he’d tagged me in an old picture, and decided I should know what he’d been up to.

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and I broke up with him over a heart-wrenching video call. I wasted so many emotions and looking forward I would never commit to an LDR again.

Amy, 29

It’s happened four times in our relationship now and we’re still going strong.

In my experience it depends on how you communicate. My boyfriend and I have never been ones for soppy texts, Skype and internet nudity. This is absolutely fine but it becomes surprisingly difficult when we’re hundreds or thousands of miles apart. 

It’s happened four times in our relationship now (we’ve been together for just over three years), and we’re still going strong. We grew up near each other and our LDR periods have been due to university, study abroad, and now work. I’m challenging myself to be a better communicator this time. 

Stephanie, 27

Just because you miss someone doesn’t mean you’re meant to be together.

Colm (my long-term boyfriend of three years) and I stupidly decided to do long distance after we’d split up. He’d moved to Australia while I stayed in Ireland, and despite the fighting (and cheating on his part) when we were both on home soil, he suddenly realised his apparent undying love for me and decided that now he was a mere 5,000 miles away he couldn’t live without me.

He called me two, three, sometimes even four times a day telling me he was still in love with me and eventually four months after his move, he surprised me with flights to visit him. I spent three weeks with him in Oz, and sadly that’s where the romance and professions of love ended. We resorted back to our bickering almost immediately.

I returned to Ireland and we stayed in touch for a little while, texting back and forth and occasionally chatting on Skype… that was until I saw pictures of him with another girl and discovered he’d been seeing someone else behind my back since I’d flown home. That’s when I realised he was the same untrustworthy fella he was when he lived at home, and somehow, since he’d been out of the country I’d built him up to be something he wasn’t.

The moral of the story? Absence really does make the heart grow fonder, but just because you miss someone doesn’t mean you’re meant to be together.

By Jennifer Conway.

• Dating
• long-distance
• Relationships