Countess Luann: ‘I Deliver a Great Show, It’s a Party With One Big Happy Housewives Family’

Photo by Mike Ruiz

She’s the reality star legend behind iconic sayings like “Be cool, don’t be all like, uncool” and “Even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes.” But Luann de Lesseps, aka Countess Luann, isn’t just about quotes—she’s also a fan favourite for her music, ever since she dropped ‘Money Can’t Buy You Class’ back in 2010.

Fourteen years later, Luann is hitting the road with her new cabaret tour, Marry F Kill, hitting Dublin’s Vicar St. on Monday, June 3rd. It’s the first chance for Irish fans to see The Countess live—expect her hits, some surprises, and maybe even a lesson in class! We Zoomed with Luann to get the scoop!

For anyone who hasn’t heard of Countess Cabaret or the Marry F Kill tour, what can we expect?

Countess Cabaret is really pop culture meets Cabaret, meets comedy, meets a fashion show – because you can bet I’m going to be wearing Jovani. And you know, Cabaret is a real personal story, right? It’s all my personal stories. I write my shows. So it’s real.

How I do it is – it’s the music I love. And I know it’s music that you love. And I know it’s music that the kids love. I love that because, automatically the fans are connected. It’s very immersive. You’ll be like, oh my God, I remember that! There’s a lot of throwbacks. There’s a lot of references to, you know, Ultimate Girls Trips. It’s really a ride through Housewives history.

I have an amazing director Richard Alexander, who’s very easy. He’s an icon in the business. He’s worked with Kristin Chenoweth, Barbara Streisand, Bette Midler, all the legends. I’m very lucky to work with the best in the business.

I really work hard at my show. You don’t get that from watching the TV show, Housewives, because, you know – first of all, music rights for television are very expensive. So you always feel the drama of my cabaret, but you never got to actually see my cabaret. You know what I mean?

It’s interesting because I see people driving in a Toyota and they drive out in a Rolls Royce because I deliver. I deliver a great show, the best time, a lot of fun. It’s a party, you know, it’s a party with one big happy Housewives family.

I know that you said you kind of change it up a little bit, depending on the location or the vibe. Is there any chance we’re going to hear you cover an Irish artist, maybe Sinead O’Connor, U2, Enya? 

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. You know what? I’m going to do that just for you. I’m going to have to figure that out. Roger [Luann’s manager], write that down.

Photo by Mike Ruiz

Tell us why you called the tour Marry F Kill?

Marry F Kill started from my fans, really, because I started cabaret back in 2018. Every show I do, I would get asked, “Ok Countess! Marry F Kill!” Always given, you know, three choices. So, after 6 years, I said, you know what? That’s my next tour.

Who would we marry? Who would we F? Who would get rid of? Because we’re not killing anybody, right? So really, it was inspired by the fans. It’s actually usually F Marry Kill. But I got it backwards. And I’m glad I did, because it makes better lyrics for a song. So that’s really how it came about.

And then I realised – yeah, it’s my tour, but now I need to make the song! So I wrote the song. I have a great producer, Bruce Roberts, who produced it with me. And I have Tracy Young, who is remixing it now for you guys across the pond. She just won a Grammy with Madonna. So, you know, I’ve got the best people working with me and and I just love it because it came together organically, really.

Because it’s the name of the tour and all, we have to do a little Marry F Kill. So I’m going for three Irish actors – Paul Mescal, Colin Farrell and Barry Keoghan. 

I’m going to marry Barry. It rhymes, hahaha. I’m going to do Colin Farrell. I’m going to kill the other one.

Have you been to Ireland before?

No, I’ve never been. I’m so excited. I’m staying another night with my whole crew. We’re going to go out in Dublin because we’ve never been. So I’d stay another day because we have a day off. And then we’re back in London.

Do you have anything you want to see in Dublin particularly? Will you be sampling some Guinness?

You know, it’s so funny because I grew up drinking Guinness out in the 80s. My brothers were out drinking Guinness. You know, I have four brothers and two sisters. A lot of people don’t know that about me, I have a big family. And so my brothers are always drinking Guinness. So I’m going to drink Guinness while I’m there, fresh from the tap.

We had you back on our screens at the end of 2023 on Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip, which we loved. Have there been any moments with the cast recently where you’ve thought, “I wish the Housewives cameras were around for this?”

Oh, I wish they were at the Rangers game with Kelly. That would have been fun. She finally did take me to a Rangers game. They had us on the Jumbotron. It’s hysterical. They played the scene. They played the scene from the show on the Jumbotron at the Rangers game. That was amazing. 

Photo by Mike Ruiz

We’ve seen you girls also hanging out with the new RHONY crew a little bit. Would you be open to a cameo or appearance in the new season?

Yeah, why not? I’d like to hang out with Brynn. I love Brynn. She’s a fun time, that girl. Yeah, I saw her recently at a party.

You’ve been spotted dating in NYC recently, anything you can tell us about on the romance front?

They are looking up. I had a very dry spell. And all of a sudden, I’ve got a couple of guys that that I like. I’m dating, you know. Nobody that I want to bring home to introduce to the kids just yet. But, you know, it’s nice. I’m having a good time.

Yeah, I think I need to get some tips from you, Luann.

Well, don’t worry, darling. I cover tips in my show as well.

I know you kind of said that the show was originally inspired by dinner parties that you were having where it kind of turned into a bit of a cabaret. Is that is that right?

Well, it was inspired by a friend of mine who said, Luann, you love those parties. You sing for your friends and you tell jokes. You should be doing cabaret. I was like, “Oh, yeah, that’s right!” That’s a good idea. The best. And that’s really how it started.

Finally, before I leave you, just give me one reason why people need to go to the Marry F Kill tour.

Well, if they want a time of their lives and see me perform my classics and, you know, jump on the train! Don’t be the ones left standing on the platform. It’s going to be a hell of a ride. They’re going to have the best time of their lives.

Tickets to see Countess Luann: Marry F Kill! are available now at Ticketmaster.ie.

Words by Patrick Kavanagh

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• Real Housewives