That holding-up-the-queue hot beverage order may be the window to your soul, says our team of possibly unqualified experts.
The best thing about autumn isn’t the fact the shops are full of coats and snuggly knits: it’s the return of hot drinks. Yep, the changing of the seasons means spending all your small change on beverages to battle dropping temperatures. But what does your to-go cup of cosy say about your personality?
Your partner’s annoyed at your missionary position obsession, but that’s the kind of woman you are. You like sitting or lying down and you enjoy comfort – because weary limbs and shorter evenings. Boiling water and sweet, chocolatey milk is your perfect reprieve. You’re team self-care and that’s ace.
You DGAF, because while this choice may have been pilloried, you don’t let other people tell you what to do. The pumpkin spice latte girl is like a lightning storm in a heatwave. An impromptu blizzard in October. She possesses a hidden strength on a Jessica Jones level. She’d want to: this is so sweet, it tastes like a diabetic coma.
Right now, there’s a wagon screencapping your sincere #QOTD Instagram, but you try not to care because haters don’t deserve airtime. Instead, you’re just going to sip the smuggest brew of all and move on. But first, another Instagram, so everyone knows you’re the matcha latte sort.
We’ve a lot of time for a woman who seeks out the closest thing to a pint for daytime imbibing. If this is your chosen tipple, chances are you’re a risk taker, but you’re also the calming influence in your friendship circle. You notice when a colleague runs to the bathroom crying, and you take her for a G&T post-work. We salute you, Cider Girl.
You’ve seen a bit of the world, and you’re not letting anyone forget it, hence the regular #TBT updates of you surfing down the sides of volcanoes. You’re nice, Chai drinker, but just bear in mind some people love their builders brew or the kick of caffeine, so don’t be that forceful, “you absolutely NEED to try this,” squad member. Especially during the crucial 3pm café exodus.
You know what you want. You keep lists in both planner and app form. If anyone tries to drag you, you’ll either full-on respond with a chilling, “why did you do that?”, or plot a best-served-cold revenge. Don’t bullshit an Unsweetened Almond Milk, and don’t lie about the ingredients in her drink either.
This article first appeared in STELLAR’s October Issue. The December issue is on shelves now!