“I’d Tell Myself Every Day That I Hated Myself” Maisie Williams On Self-Worth And Online Abuse
"It’s just a constant feed in your back pocket of what people think of you."
Maisie Williams has opened up about struggling with her self-worth and how online abuse affects her.
The actress explained that she felt consumed by negative comments on social media.
“It used to really get to me, I mean it still does, who am I kidding. Because it’s just a constant feed in your back pocket of what people think of you. I think we’d all like to say we’d turn a blind eye and wouldn’t care but it’s impossible.”
She added: “When people are on social media they feel like whatever they write, no one’s gonna see it, no one’s gonna read it but they do and it will affect them for a really long time.”
The Game of Thrones star explained that the only thing that helped her was taking a break from the internet. She explained that her mother has her social media passwords and will often check her phone on her behalf and advise her whether or not to go online.
“There did come a time when I took a step away from it all,” she said.
“Try not to consume too much media. When I do feel myself going down a rabbit hole, it gets to a point where you’re almost craving something negative so you can sit in a hole of sadness. It’s really bizarre the way that it starts to consume you. It’s just about switching that off and speaking to someone human.”
While negative comments online was a huge factor in Maisie’s unhappiness, she also opened up about anxiety and having low self-esteem.
When asked about being looked up to by young people all over, the star said she doesn’t consider herself a ‘model human’.
“I still lie in bed at 11 o’clock at night, telling myself all the things I hate about myself. It’s something I’m trying to break free from at the moment,” she revealed on Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place.
“I went through a huge period of my life where I’d tell myself every day that I hated myself. It got to a point where I’d be in a conversation with my friends and my mind would running and running, and I’d be thinking about all the stupid things I’ve said in my life, and all the people that looked at me a certain way and it would just race and race. I’d just be like ‘I hate myself’.”
The 22-year-old added that she is learning to examine why she is feeling these things, and to remember that she’s not the only one.
“So many of these problems are really linked to things in your past, as soon as you start digging and start asking yourself bigger questions than: Why do I hate myself? It’s more: Why do you make yourself feel this way?”
“One thing I learnt is that everyone is a little bit sad and it was really eye-opening to me to understand that I think,” she added.
“The more we talk and the more we help one another, I think that’s really important.”
She added that she is “still definitely really struggling to let sadness wash over me without it consuming me”.
“There was a period of time that I was really sad and then I sort of came out of that,” she said.
“It’s now really terrifying that you’re ever gonna slip back into it and I think that’s something that I’m really working on.”
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