It's time for a good moan.
It’s another day of me signing into Instagram or Facebook, seeing some post that has made me think “Stop the world I want to get off” and sending loads of screenshots to my Huns captioned “Have you seen this?” I swear if eye rolling at the stuff you see online burned calories, I would have the body I keep starting a diet every Monday morning for.
I waste at least three hours a day on social media I would say. That’s about 45 or 46 days a year (AT LEAST) which is absolutely disgusting when you remember I’m in work for eight hours a day and asleep for another eight and trying, and failing, to get my hole for the other five.
But I just can’t seem to log out. Before I know it I am signing in, not even to post anything just to see what I’m missing, what everyone is going mad about and who is riding who and two hours have passed when it feels like I only entered my password five minutes ago. I have a love/hate relationship with the internet and I love a good moan so here are a few things I am over seeing online every day.
Those Fila runners
You know the ones I’m talking about. The big chunky mad looking things that you wouldn’t even have considered buying only every Hun on every platform has a pair. They look like something from Shoe Zone. Stop it.
How to wear videos
It’s 2019. If you need to log into Instagram to learn how to style your basic blue jeans or how to wear over the knee boots I don’t think Instagram is the help you need. Fair play to the girls, they have some set of balls standing in front of a camera in their bedroom in their jocks but every outfit looks the same and every Hun is a size 6.
I want to see someone struggle into their jeans and have a floordrobe after every outfit change. Honestly, who hangs up every single thing they try on up as soon as they take it off. NO, HUN.
The Markle Sparkle
I do feel sorry for Duchess Meg because her family are soooooooo embarrassing but if I never have to see a picture of her either holding that bump like it’s going to fall off or touching Harry in some way as she stands beside him (she is always touching him!) I’d be delighted. The most annoying thing is the Huns that post about it 24/7 – you’re not her mate, babes.
Fiat 500 Twitter
I actually love Fiat 500 Twitter, the girls are usually on point and what they are saying we can all relate to. (I had to look up what this means because I’m clearly ancient: “basic white girls”, apparently – Ed) What I don’t love is every bloke in their 20s commenting ‘Fiat 500 Twitter’ under every tweet a good looking girl posts about her daily trials and tribulations. These are also members of the ‘didn’t happen’ brigade and post “We’re back” every time their favourite team win a match.
what is it about this weather that makes me want to neck gin all day?? #fiat500Twitter ??
— nancy? (@__nancyeleanor) April 5, 2018
Snapping while driving
No one cares about the song you’re listening to. Stop risking my life and yours for the likes and views.
Nothing can describe the hatred I have for people who post pics of every corner of their gaff after they’ve hoovered it.
After all my moaning about it, I’m still gonna go home today, kick my tights off, put my hair in a bun, pick something good to watch on Netflix and try listen to it in the background while I’m scrolling through some randomer’s story wondering why when I order outfits from PLT they never look like they do in her pics or how she can afford to eat out so much and still pay rent. Stay Stunnin’!