‘It Was A Lot All At Once’: Ellie Goulding’s Struggle With Anxiety Sounds Super Relatable

Ellie Goulding always seems so cool, calm and collected, but haven’t we all heard the age-old saying to never judge a book by its cover?

The singer recently wrote an essay for Well+Good about her struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, both of which were brought on by her sudden rise to fame.

She shot to stardom seven years ago with the release of her debut album Lights, and the now 30-year-old said, “Sharing my music with the world was a dream I’d been working toward for years – but it was a lot all at once.” She added, “Suddenly, I was living alone in London and everything was happening so fast.”

Ellie writes in the essay that she thinks confidence was the biggest cause of her mental health issues. “I was scared I wasn’t as good of a singer as everyone thought I was, and as the stakes grew, I was afraid of letting everyone, including myself, down.” Even after years of success in the music industry, the Hereford-born singer admits being “paralyzed with nerves” at the 2016 Grammy Awards.

She took to kickboxing in an attempt to boost her self-confidence, and it worked! “It wasn’t about any change in my outward appearance; it was about seeing and feeling myself get better and stronger,” she writes. “It carried over into other areas of my life, and now I truly feel that exercise – however you like to work out – is good for the soul.”

If exercise is as helpful as it sounds, we’ll gladly take up an extra gym class.

• Ellie Goulding