The Entire Internet Is Freaking Out About The Trailer For The Cats Movie

Taylor Swift and Idris Elba in rehearsals

The internet has been consumed by discussion of the trailer for the movie adaptation of Cats, which dropped last night.

For those unfamiliar with the musical its based on, the trailer raised a LOT of questions. And we’ll attempt to answer them as best we can.

What is Cats even about?

The musical was composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber of The Phantom Of The Opera and Jesus Christ Superstar fame, and is based on a book of poems by TS Eliot (remember him from your Leaving Cert?). It was a huge hit when it was initially staged in the 1980s on London’s West End, going to Broadway and touring around the world.

Cats is sung from start to finish, and most of the performers have to also be fabulous dancers.

It’s pointless to try and tell you what the ‘plot’ of the musical is, because it doesn’t reeeeaally have one. The whole thing takes place over the course of one night, where a tribe of cats called the Jellicles introduce themselves through song, telling the story of their lives.

Each of them hope to be chosen as worthy to enter the Heaviside Layer (or the cat version of Heaven), where they will be reborn as a younger cat. Sooo… yeah.

Taylor Swift as Bombalurina

Who is in the film version?

It’s quite the star-studded cast, don’t you know. There are so, so many cats in this musical, so we’ll just pick out ones played by the most famous faces.

Jennifer Hudson as Grizabella

• Jennifer Hudson plays Grizabella, a formerly glamorous cat
• Idris Elba plays Macavity, a criminal cat
• Taylor Swift plays Bombalurina, a literal sexy cat
• Judi Dench plays Old Deuteronomy, an older cat deeply respected by the other Jellicles

Judi Dench as Old Deuteronomy

• Ian McKellen plays Gus the Theatre Cat
• James Corden plays Bustopher Jones, a rich, fat cat
• Jason Derulo plays Rum Tug Tugger, a bad boy cat
• Rebel Wilson plays Jennyanydots, a cat that’s lazy during the day but comes alive at night

Jason Derulo as Rum Tum Tugger

Do I know any of the songs?

You definitely know Memory.

This is sung by the old cat Grizabella (played by Jennifer Hudson in the film), who remembers being young and happy and makes her case for being reborn as a new cat. It’s very beautiful and very famous! The rest of the songs… they’re interesting alright.

Why are people freaking out about the film?

Well… in the stage production, the performers wore those infamous fur-adorned bodysuits and, since it was the 80s, furry leg warmers. However, in the film the cats are half-human, half-feline alien creatures, their fur and whiskers added with CGI.

The effect is quite disturbing. Why do the female cats have very human-like boobs, for one? And do their tails just come shooting out from between their buttcheeks?

People are also wondering how this bonkers, plotless musical will translate to film, and very few are confident that it can.

I have no words. It’s just a jumble of emotions ranging from horror to befuddlement. #catsmovie https://t.co/fhqwvFPuZC

— Wenlei Ma (@WenleiMa) July 18, 2019

Look I get that they couldn't have anatomically correct cats with *bits* but this looks SO WEIRD #CatsMovie pic.twitter.com/Kelo2oiwuD

— Anita Singh (@anitathetweeter) July 18, 2019

Y'all are acting confused by the #CatsMovie trailer.

It's a movie.
ABOUT CATS.
From a stage show.
That premiered 38 years ago.
And confused everyone then.
And through the 80s.
90s.
00s.
10s.
And still even now.
BECAUSE IT'S A SHOW ABOUT CATS.

— Lauren Modery (@Hipstercrite) July 18, 2019

Anyway, it’s coming out close to Christmas if you want to see it for yourself. What a time we’re living in.

• cats
• Taylor Swift