Arguing with your SO? These six big fights are the most common relationship-enders.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve just started seeing each other or you’re a couple who’s been going strong for years, fights are par for the course in any relationship, but crucially some arguments are harder to come back from than others.
The ones that do the most damage? A study by Household, Income and Labour Dynamics found that it’s these tricky topics are most likely to lead to a split…
Yep, apparently couples where one partner smokes and the other doesn’t are headed for a slippery slope. It doesn’t matter if the nicotine-fiend plans to quit: the study shows that long term dissatisfaction is on the cards unless you can match up your habits.
The study found that in situations where a male partner is struggling to cope with stress, depression or anxiety, and they’re taking it out on you, your relationship is more likely to head for splitsville. Meaning that while you feel your guy is starting fights for the sake of it, it’s actually because he’s dealing with something bigger, and you just don’t know about it.
‘Oh, but opposites attract,’ reassured your gal pal when you started dating a guy who doesn’t eat carbs and has never owned a car. ‘You’ll totally bring him out of his shell.’ Well, soz to burst your heart-shaped bubble, but she was way off the mark. If you’re an adventure-seeking lass, while your BF is all about snuggles on the sofa, the study claims you’re likely to find yourselves bickering on a regular basis – and resenting each other in the long term.
According to the study, if one partner has a higher level of education than their counterpart, feelings of resentment or insecurity can take hold. The research found women were particularly sensitive to whether their fella had a higher level of education – which could trigger frequent bickering and long-term problems. Ouch.
Let’s be honest, it’s one of the most exciting chats to have with your SO; ‘if you won the lottery tomorrow, what would you do with it?’ But if you’re lucky enough to benefit from a surprise windfall, you’re instantly at risk of fighting about it – and breaking up. Oddly enough, the study found that for those who are dating or living together, a cash injection could bring a series of fights and upset. However, the study also found that married couples who came into a sudden lump sum of cash managed to overcome the same issues, and enjoy the spending spree together.
Ok, ok, this isn’t an argument as such – but if you’re still with your man in your 40s and 50s, you need to prepare yourself for a pretty tricky decade. According to the study, the older we get, the more likely we are to feel dissatisfied in our relationships, and we’re likely take it out on each other as a result. But the study did have a silver lining. Once you make it into your 60s it’s all plain sailing. Well, once they quit smoking and learn how to chill the eff out that is…
By Jennifer Conway.