From The Takeaway Tester To The Telly Tweeter: The Irish Influencers We Want To See

Sublime content, really.

We love our fashion and beauty bloggers, but these are the people we’d follow in a heartbeat. There’d be a whole lot of Insta creepin’ to be done if we happened to come across any of these accounts.

The Farmfluencer

We want a man with good road frontage and who knows his way around a cow to tell us all about the latest trends in milking. Maybe he’ll be able to demonstrate the correct way to shear a sheep, give us tips for waking up at 5am and sport a jaunty gilet and peaked cap. Perhaps he could even do a post on the ten best wellies for festival season, tested on farm manure. Sign us up, TBH.

The Pyjama Blogger

Editor Vicki would like this job, as a full time pyjama trendsetter. She could model the latest and greatest PJ styles on the high street, design her own custom set with a high end brand, and even branch out into cosy lingerie (fluffy bras?) and fine cashmere slipper socks. Come on, is there an Irish woman alive that wouldn’t be bet into this hashtag content?

 

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The Irish Mammyfluencer

An Irish mammy (or daddy, we don’t discriminate) who will do cooking demos of only classic mammy dishes in their very own non-flash way. They could also provide pearls of wisdom in the way only an Irish parent can, like “would you go away out of that, nobody is looking twice at you” or “turn off the immersion!”. Invaluable.

The Chocconnoisseur

This person’s full time job would be to source, taste and rate chocolate bars, especially any new or interesting ones. Like a wine expert or restaurant reviewer, but about chocolate. Dark, milk, white, matcha, ruby… this person will know their chocolate like Joey Tribbiani knows sandwiches. They could do special seasonal reviews for Valentines and Christmas, and a whole series on Easter Eggs. We’re sold. See also the Crisp Critic, Pizza Picker and Cheesus.

 

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The Muttfluencer

We love photos of random dogs on the internet, and pictures of pampered pure-bred pooches and fabulous felines. But we also want to follow some mutts, and I’m not talking about a cross-bred Maltipoo here. We want to see a lovely little mongrel with about 42 different breeds in it from puppyhood through their adult life of treats, walkies and snuggles. 14/10, would follow.

The Aisling

We have the Oh My God, What A Complete Aisling books, and we can follow her creators Sarah Breen and Emer McLysaght. But we want to make a celeb out of a totally normal girl, one who loves wearing her county colours and lives for All Ireland season, who rocks a shumpe, does brown mascara tutorials and who has never coloured her hair. Aisling’s normality is what makes her incredible, so why shouldn’t we shine a light on her queen-ness?!

 

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The Telly Tweeter

They are an expert on everything on Netflix, from shite Lifetime movies to indepth crime documentaries, rom coms to serious series. They search the endless titles so you don’t have to and break down the TV guide daily on stories. They also live tweet Dancing On Ice and Love Island, bake along with Bake Off, offer witty critique of Room To Improve and even know what’s going on in all the soaps – even Hollyoaks.

The Takeaway Tester

Trying every takeaway restaurant in your locality so you don’t have to, this influencer would rate every takeaway out there, from the ‘total hangover pleaser’ to the ‘don’t even think about it’. They’d know what travels well, and what doesn’t, which Chineses are pure filth (in the best sense of the word) and all the best sides to order with your main meal. They’d have special location-based story highlights too so all you’d have to do is click through to find the best place to order. Nice work if you can get it.

 

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