Real Talk 20th August 2015 by Genevieve Wilson

5 Ways To Make Getting Back Together Work

After time apart the pair of you have decided to give it another go. Here's how to make getting back together work for you.

broken heart

Breaking up is hard to do, getting back together is even harder. According to a study by Science Daily, 50% of couples who break up, try and make things work at least once more. If you’re considering a reconciliation, here are five ways to ensure the move back to coupledom is worth your while.

1. Identify the reason why you want them back

Firstly, you need to make sure that your reasons for wanting to get back together are legitimate. After spending a long period of time with anyone, you’re bound to miss them when they go. Is this what your missing; the comfort? If so, you need to forget about the idea of rekindling. It might be great at the start, but soon the same problems and cracks will begin to appear. Soz.

2. Clean your slate

People break up for different reasons but if dishonesty or a breach of trust was one of yours, you need to come clean. ‘Fess up to everything and be 100% honest with your partner. It will allow you to look to the future and start afresh without any baggage.

3. Forget the past

Still replaying that argument over and over in your head? It’s always hard to forgive and forget, but you gotta move on if you want to make it work. It might be hard not to think of what was done or said but in order to move forward, you need to let go. DON’T ask questions about what they did while single either. The truth is, you really don’t want to know.

4. Talk AND listen

A problem shared is a problem halved, as they say. You need to set some time aside to discuss the issues that drove you apart. Was it a lack or trust or incessant bickering that caused the split? Sift through your issues and discuss how you can avoid making the same mistakes again. This will give both of you the opportunity to voice the reasons that you felt unhappy, and also means you can come up with solutions to solve those problems.

5. Give it time

It’s not going to go back to exactly how it was in the first place, and you don’t want it to. Remember, you’re starting over. Give it time and try and enter the relationship like it’s a brand new one. If the both of you really want it, start from scratch and try your best to avoid the topics that got you arguing first time around. If you’re both willing to make the changes that the other person wants, things could really work second time around.

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